1. I currently reside in the most beautiful state of Texas, where the bluebonnet's grow and everything is bigger.

2. I have 11 children, no twins.

3. Writing woke me up. Showed me who I am. Sustains my life and without it I go insane.

4. I am a domestic violence survivor.

Done.

(Before this little excerpt, there were 50 words exactly)

Have you ever asked God “why?”

Have you ever questioned His existence?

Have you ever screamed out in agony wondering why YOU even exist?

Have you ever wondered how a “loving God” could allow such pain and suffering?

Have you ever sat in a puddle of your own tears and felt you couldn’t go on?

Have you ever felt the hatred burning in your bones?

Have you ever tried to wake up hoping it was just a nightmare?

Have you ever sought answers but found none?

Have you ever wondered “why me”?

Have you ever put on a fake smile just so you didn’t have to talk about it?

Have you ever wanted to just start all over?

Have you ever wanted to give up? Everyday?

Have you ever wondered why you couldn’t get in on the good side of life?

Have you ever felt cursed?

Have you ever felt depressed and regretted so much of your life?

I have.

Broken-hearted again

For me would be in vain

But for my little girl

Her daddy was her world

How can a father leave

It’s hard for me to conceive

Not even say goodbye

I can only standby

And watch her tears stream down

From her big eyes of brown

Her bleeding heart poured out

Through her brown eyes spout

I set my pain aside

My broken heart I’ll hide

And take the time to heal

As before my girl I kneel

And let her hug and hold

As I lovingly enfold

Her precious body in my arms

Wishing to protect her heart from harm

From harm, hurt and pain

I wish my arms could constrain

But for now I hold her tight

As her daddy silently takes flight

Tired of "pat" answers

And familiar cliches

Tell me something new

That'll settle my sway

Tell me a truth

To guide my way

Something unfamiliar

To fix my dismay

Don't even begin

To tell me you'll pray

We both know you won't

Your faith you betray

Call me a cynic

Or led astray

I just want some answers

Instead of cliches

Tossing and turning through the night

My body and skin aches for his delights

I search in my sleep for his embrace

Seeking a glimpse of his dear face

Reaching out is but in vain

For he's not there, I'm going insane

I need the touch of his soft skin

Wanting to feel it again and again

Sleeps always sweetest with him by my side

That's when I'm safest and wish to reside

I miss every night we are apart

Wish I never had to depart

Do I dare

Write the fright

That haunts me everyday?

Or should I refrain

To hide the pain

And keep my secrets

Off display?