It sits in the bottom of the drawer

Always waiting for me

Always patient

But hungry

Its my go to instrument

Not scissors or knives

A simple razor blade with a handle.

It's always there.

Waiting kindly

Until it bites me.

I deserve it.

We were once

Explosive like gasoline

The path we chosechose together

Caused catastrophes

Chaos and destruction

We tore down

the ones we loved

So we could build

Each other up

Until there was no one

Left to tear down.

So we started

Ripping each other down

All that chaos

Destruction

And pain

Now aimed at each other

I eventually broke your heart

So you broke my soul in revenge

And attempted to break my body,

I broke you down instead

Our pain and obsession continued

The fire never ceasing

Then one day there was nothing left

Inside of me.

So I left

And rebuilt myself...

Around love, and passion,

And kindness.

You chose the opposite pathpath

Self destruction

Because you couldn't control me anymore

I've never understood loss.

I had my favorite person in my family die and I didn't shed a single tear. I didn't feel anything about it at all. I simply continued life.

But the loss of someone who continues to live... Just not in your world. That, I understand. That causes me more pain that anything I've ever felt.

How is loss of the living more painful that the loss of the dead?

You played the piano with your fingertips

Down my side and along my back

Sparks flew from me

Everywhere you touched

The music crescendos as we do.

The intensity of Everything

But I keep being drawn back to the closeness of your skin

As you play piano with your finger tips on my back.

I want you to look me in the eyes

And lie to me.

Tell me you love me with such a force

And then push me away

Tell me you can't imagine a world without me

And then exclude me from yours

Tell me another lie darling.