Reflections

The mirror

Oh, the mirror

Such an innocuous thing

A piece of glass that reflects what's in front of it

Do I look good? I can't tell...

Do I look bad? I don't like what I see...

I see flaws!

Imperfections!!

Where did that blotch come from?

Why am I so round all of a sudden?

This thing must be warped!

Perfect, a pimple. Aren't I too old for such things??

I see what I am today

I see what I used to be

My, how the body changes!

I see where I'm headed

God! the crows feet...

Reflections of the physical, past, present and future

My but life takes a toll...

Damn thing is a time machine

Unyielding in its honesty

A truth teller to a fault

Please lie to me, I won't mind!

Now it's mocking...

I should just walk away...

Remove myself from its gaze

But there it is

And there I am

All in this sheet of glass

That makes me see, well, me.

History

Our past

A culmination of actions

Leading to today

Acts of beauty or compassion

Acts of barbarism and brutality

All shape the current minute we all reside in

Oh genie in the bottle

Were you really there

Or H.G. Wells time machine

Were you really possible

What would I change, or could I change?

Adolf... that's an obvious one

Or Stahlin...

A warning for the Titanic before she set sail?

How about trying to stop a war?

A simple "leave the building now" on 9/11

Maybe telling Marilyn Monroe to just go to sleep.

That tomorrow will be ok.

Or Kobain

Or Hemingway

Or Van Gogh

So many choices

So many wrongs

So many tragedies

So much turmoil

That led to today

The truth is...

And maybe I'm selfish

But I wouldn't do any of these things

I'm too small

I'm too unimportant

My choice, would be to visit... me

To impart the wisdom of my future self

Kiss the girl, don't chicken out

Turn right and not left

Start that business... don't be afraid

Fight back, don't just take it!

Call gramma even if its inconvenient at the time

You will run out of opportunities before you least expect it

Take a chance

Don't be so safe

Regret is an ache that never goes away

Live your best life

Embrace it as an adventure

Be brave, not so damn scared

Your today, is my future

Make me proud of MY history

I know, I'm invisible to you.

Here, but not, like an unwanted ninja.

The shoulder to cry on, but to never embrace.

The friend to love, but not like that.

I have loved you for so long, from a distance, three feet away.

Telling you would set my heart and mind free, to be wrapped in the joy that is you.

Or, telling you would push you away, freak you out, force the words out of your mouth I already know and am so afraid of, "my best friend".

I can't lose you to my selfish heart, can't, won't.

I will stay invisible, right by your side.

Words.

I hate them so much.

What I should have said, or shouldn't.

What I did say, or didn't.

They cut like a knife...

That they do.

Are mightier than the sword...

That's cliche, and depends on who's swinging the sword.

But they can hurt.

Or heal.

Bring joy.

Or sadness.

They allow expression in it's purest form.

From the mind to paper.

Without fear of speaking or shyness.

I fancy myself good with words.

They are my strength amidst all of my weaknesses.

But, even the best written, the best intended words, can't fix everything.

A fuck up is a fuck up...

A betrayal is forever.

And actions are always louder.

Sometimes words just aren't enough to repair a lie.

No matter how hard I try...

To craft the perfect phrase...

I can't make you believe I'm sorry.

There aren't enough words in the dictionary to express it.

God, I hate them so much.

Were I to disappear tomorrow, what would be left?

Some baubles or trinkets.

Silly scribblings about a life incomplete.

Some lucky people's fond memories, or some unlucky ones with less.

Am I greater than the sum of my parts, or just one of many, that doesn't matter?

Cogito, Ergo sum or Vini Vidi Vici.

I'd love to say I am because I came, saw and conquered,

But I've done none of those.

Is my child my legacy?

Or my dreams unfulfilled?

Are the lives I've touched better because of me?

Have I touched many at all?

I ask myself these questions a lot.

The body is finite, as is the mind that inhabits it.

Does the spirit in the mind, the spark that is us, transcend to some other place?

It's a fine thought, or not. Heaven or hell not withstanding.

I believe the spirit is as finite as the body and mind.

All wink out of existence at the same time, when the last breath is drawn.

When the last thought is had.

So what is left?

What we've built? Or written? or Sung?

What if there are no statues in our honor when the body has long turned to dust?

I believe that in the end, we are the sum total of people's misconceptions of us.

And as those memories fade, have I made enough of an impression,

For anyone to remember me?

On a tennis court we met

Fast friends we came to be

Our time together was innocent

With me that’s usually how it went

Little did I know you wanted me

Though to these things I was blind, my eyes never did see

Then that day you wanted to swim

With luck I had a pool

Your intentions should have been abundantly clear

I was such a young fool

You had no suit so we improvised

My t-shirt fit you well

Your panties were all yours

When I saw them I nearly fell

We swam and laughed like kids do

But children we were not

The t-shirt had become see through

I suddenly felt quite hot

You told me to come closer

I follow instructions well

Our eyes then locked with my hands on your hips

You beckoned me with a simple look

I had so wanted to kiss your lips

Then the parents came home and the moment was lost

I was crushed by this dumb luck

You smiled and said next time

Then you moved away

I have never forgotten our time at the pool

You should have been my first

We hold these truths to be self evident...

Such inspiring words

Our freedoms come from our creator

Whatever or whoever that may be

That was the intent, that was the meaning

But we as a people have forgotten those words

We don’t open our eyes to see

Freedom of speech, the grandest of all

Say what you wish

Speak your mind

Stand up and be heard

Have no fears from the powers that be

But don’t say something offensive or contrary

For that upsets the herd

Freedom of speech applies to all of us

Not merely those that share thoughts

Differing ideas drive us forward with caution

Identical ideas throw it to the wind

Freedom of religion, intended to stop persecution, from even the mightiest of kings

Worship who you want

Your god is your own

I hope your god is benevolent

And I hope mine is too

There must be something greater than man

But technology and celebrity replace the good book

Our disdain of different thought

Doesn’t matter anyway

Most of us worship at the alter of Amazon

Freedom from want, such a noble idea

All things provided

Opportunity abounds

But freedom isn’t free

Money drives the world we’ve made

And someone needs to be paid

Be wary of gifts from the shiny elected

The “Haves” and the “Have nots”

That’s what they say

They can make you a “Have” too

But then you’ll be their slaves

Freedom from fear, the hardest to grant

To fear is human

Nothing is a sure thing

Uncertainty rules the day

The very freedoms we all share are our biggest foe

Speak your mind and offend, be banned or get assaulted

If you say what I don’t like, don’t you dare speak at all

Worship who you want, and be attacked by a believer of another

The heavens aren’t big enough for our gods to share space

Want leads to aspiration, accomplishment and prosperity

Make your own way in this world

Giving can not be guaranteed

We hold these truths to be self evident...

Such forgotten words

Our creator has been removed from the notion

Now people make the rules

Those that don’t want us to question what they say

Fear the ones who grant our freedoms

For they can always take them away

Her beauty was mesmerizing

Icy blue eyes

Perfectly done up blonde hair

Applied make up that made her look like a magazine cover

Flawless skin

Long legs, a model's body

A swagger that beckons

Gorgeous smile, that never touched her eyes

Awestruck by her visage

Memorable she should be

But looks don't define the person

Beauty doesn't make the queen

Words that cut

Attitude that isolates

Oblivious to others

Vapid in thought

Like everyone else, she only sees her

Cold heart

Empty soul

Ugly she is to me