Skin

"Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways." (Sigmund Freud) Poetry

Feigned indifference

Skin

Connections snap

and rebind.

find each other's eyes

in brief sips,

reminisce on tiny moments from our

late adolescence.

Café hums…

college kids typing on laptops,

waiters in white jackets clacking

porcelain plates,

mother's carry their babies

and one reaches for a

strand of my hair,

you laugh,

your eyes

distracted and I see

you

twice

alive.

Day old relationship demolished

by the end of our amorous conversations,

we stood up and you told me

you were leaving for the summer.

This won't work,

sorry.

Monday morning flesh sheds and

resets beneath freshly shredded soles

that i continue to pick and peel,

(comfort in never healing).

Nerves endings pricked, blood trickles up

bare layers of unhardened skin.

Calloused palms peeling never mending,

viral exanthem raising

legions of charcoal blotches

plotting paths of red bumps,

lumps of excessive cellular plight

claiming susceptible topography,

blooming tan shades of flaky,

dry ash.

Naps course visions of you,

bleached linen sheath echoing each

second I felt love for once,

creases breeze sixty degree gusts,

petrified over how i’ll get through work tomorrow…

Tuesday afternoon burning cruel dreams,

steps sting walking miles past

Alexandria streets rife with searing traffic;

crosswalk lights never changing.

I watch blue metro buses pass sluggishly,

Ford explorers turn awkwardly,

sedans rush fastest.

Black dogs awake from withered rest,

they imagine taking one step toward the surging intersect;

wish metal to tarnish my sparring flesh,

thinking my bones could finally settle

for a second:

but i wait.

Pantheon of primeval stone stares victorious,

I birthed pillars to remember you,

and lurked the corners of death–

i left myself wicked for far too long…

Layers rebirthed,

faithful pigment disintegrating

in cloudy rose epsom salt;

undulating bath water swallowing

marionette corpse.

We choose paths that seduce quickest;

learn the hard way because some days

sickness feels like purpose;

routines shut our eyes to the

control we have over life; we

forget about our skin and

leave it to bear our ineptitude.

For three months I chose to

remain restless;

ligaments dense, lungs glued,

explosive exhalations sever alveoli;

charred forearms clinging to

remanents of my past self,

afraid that if I asked for help

my protection might abandon me:

That perfection was the only choice.

When we met I saw you sitting

on a bench conversing with a homeless man.

His belongings in clear trash bags,

speech fading, calm but slowly losing his final

impressions of humanity.

You spoke to him with great care

not afraid,

but kind …more human

than human…

At that intersect by F— B—

we waited for lights to change,

you went left, I went forward.

thinking of telling you how I feel

at the first step across that intersection.

I didn't look back at you,

though I wish i did,

to see the woman who tore me

away from a D. istant C. ity

made hell,

brought me a sentiment i

thought I'd lost:

love.

i’m glad i met you Chr—

I don’t want to set the world on fire…

I just want to set a flame in your heart.

I have run across Kinetic Art again recently and it made me wonder about the possibility of kinetics being applied to the written art form. In the visual arts it is not so much about a "moving" picture or words like in film media, but about the illusion generated by the movement of the viewer around a static artwork. Could this be done with poetry or prose? Enter an attempt if you like :)

Kinetic Writing

Wilmer in Words

Dreamy Escape

Cold calls i await

Text messages make mundane

Days brisk.

Assassin tongue

Hurling curling shurikens,

Light cuts swell blood blue,

Slight lashes trail you…

Starlit eyes flashing

Glassy gloom,

Barks In

Walls d i m

Hips

slim,

Twirling, guiding her,

Contemplating each step.

Silk lies, dress sways,

Mind plays

Forgotten reticence

Pacing truth

Luring your

elements.

Walls that never break

Eyes of terror

Broken and tattered

Strays of past years

Unseen,

Even before you.

Walls to celebrate what we

Hate.

Fermented cabbage,

Kimchi kisses as we passed

Days that left,

Just as our fathers did,

But yours paid.

Mine went across that wall,

Handcuffed and bloodied,

I stayed back and studied,

Made my family proud,

Just kept awards coming

Let my mental shatter,

Anxiety on my morning

Platter,

34×32, 7/11 booze, 21

Growing fatter,

Eating decadent sweets,

Outrageous eats on unwinding

Streets.

Overflowing like soju

Running down my lips,

Bar hopping,

Killing the kid that never lived.

Calls with my mother every month

Or so…

Pick up where we left,

Tell me,

Why did he leave?

Did you know that I remember

The last fight you two had?

That at 19 I wanted to…

Some thoughts crawl

And make you remember,

Make each cinder brick

Weigh a bit less,

Walls

Seemingly

Indestructible.

Madhous

Days of plain vengeance

Bounce around my fun-house-head

Metal marbles click-clack and

Scar.

Nothing weighs what it should

From afar you would think you've grown,

But really you're no different

Just looks and glares that

Double your persona

Like a madhouse.

Smiles upside

Down, and frowns with teeth?

Pass me the soundtrack you thought was playing when you broke down,

That moment when heart aches seemed like

Your bitter end,

When really,

Your brain was stressed.

Out of breath.

Book of War

Pages dying

As i uncover

Myself.

My pen knows

Me better.

It sprouts

Dandelions

Daisies And Sages.

Petals flutter and

Never escape.

Words fill another

Book

And another war begins

"The song is ended, but the melody lingers on.” (Irving Berlin) Poetry or prose.

This isn't goodbye...

Hardly What It Seems

Hardly what it seems

Twelve A.M across scowling sheets,

Frowns repeat in strong shrieks

You sing like gentle spring

Droplets,

Barricades in your esophagus

Quiver-

I sing in shattered

Consonants,

Palisades pierce my tongue

Bitter-

Smooth blood you left

Unpaved,

Pencil shavings spread across

Your desk

Clogged shower drain-

Sing another week

When summer comes

In studio apartment dreams

Stinging echoes of rusty pipes

Linger a roaring tune

Neighbors pounding fists

against

Towering doors,

Love ending beyond your

Kitchen sink

Adulthood is hardly what

It seems.

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." (Khalil Gibran) Poetry or prose.

Lessons learned

Ring Side Seats

Bullet holes and death

I know better than my therapist.

Stare at me before you diagnose me

Talk a little, hear my tales.

Matter of fact let me help you,

Pick you up from your pity stupor;

That abuse you’ve poured

Takes its toll .

Round six of this fight and

I’m floored.

You’ve toured my mind

What do you think?

Blood splattered on the ring

Think this congested chest

Is worth my end?

Tell me when I return.

I’ve learned to dodge and

Weave, roll if I have to

Take the abuse down low

With my guard up

Speak from your chair

I’ve had enough.

you fall so beautifully

I heard you were lost

Pressed against California costs

Learning what my brother did at twenty-six,

Out in Houston, Texas

where my essence

Is.

Paranoid

So I mold this clay chest,

push ups

and

bar hangs

Stars

fade

and

I play

Words

From the ancients.

All at once:

I was a Mustang

swerving

off the road,

..… a comet …..

only seen through your

peripherals

The whining voice at the brink of exhaustion.

I carve impatience from my baggy

E y e s

Laugh

again and again

Yet I feel that ache

Thumping like sickly love,

mistrust cycling ventricles:

It's never that simple.

Doctors say I'm stressed

Something chasing my bloodline

Exposed veins shine like sacrificial cliffs

Golden rocks with newly blazed moss:

I am bleeding and burning,

Loving

You

sprinting paycheck

after paycheck.

You

Fall

Beautifully

From your family tree

Tumbling rapidly in fields of yesterday:

Green eyes undulating like rolling wet film

Flames like sea walls

d i v i d e d

Slowly lashing as i walk impatient

Talk until my lips shut.

December 2012

At the church

Last walk of my light

Vigils lit with tender glows

As if that night we were invited;

A family torn to three

Granted one last chance at humanity.

Without

I find my honest self….

blood scurrying past my face

slowing enveloped

in your sins

Wonder what you were like at 23,

What you fought for before you

Vanished.

I seek life in every breath

Take steps to my origins

Wish to extinguish

Your

Image

. . .

En mis sueños te veo pa

Alli estoy enfrente de la tele

y tú con el cuchillo en la mano

¡Y la sangre!

El día que nunca se va de mi memoria

me despierto con tu cara

En el espejo,

Mideo ardiendo a traves

De mis ojos.

Escucho tu voz pa

Hablando de Morelia,

Y tu infancia.

Mi hermano mayor es tu reflejo

Y yo

Una sombra de tu personaje.

No sé si te volveré a ver

pero sé que nunca olvidaré

los años que tuvimos.

for better or worse.

Today I Learned

I. Today I Learned

I bury all I am in my sins,

Faith in liquored-love.

Fairy bottles replay static memories.

Plenty of bruises, red rift scars,

Blood spurts

And limbs locked;

Punch drunk tempting her fate

Corroding cherry wraith

Goblet crush

Top her off!

Sure today I tell you how I feel.

Daisy fangs swirl a trillion;

At midnight we sat in the back seat of the

Silver mustang

Butterflies fluttering in circadian allure

Fresh foaming crystal brew wrestling my mangled tongue.

With You playing, windows open,

Honeycomb night air veiling

Tingling liquored-liver,

I stare at your phone

and

silver skylines end.

II. No names left to trust

So I develop my alter ego,

gold chain hanging

To my mosaic heart,

I stumble among extinct stars,

Trap cold character:

Ice Age.

Soon the round world fades,

Faces blur, gold lenses curve all

l o v e.

Jump my h o p e.

Tan cap like Yin

and

Yang.

Polo emblem my ensemble;

Her tan skin like drops of honey

Sky resembles my F e a r.

III. Sin Miedo Me Voy….

Heaven only knows what awaits

Sore shoulders and unfurling gates

Trade stress for two thousand hops

Crack calve muscles:

Tectonic shift.

Cortisol huffs cool in serotonin rush

Far off I see liquified azul twilight

Orange creamsicle dreams,

Splashes of tangerine

flutters.

Infectious spirals smile before

collapsing.

I felt nothing but

Crushing breathes,

Heart echoing in my cavernous chest

droplets forming

Calcified

IV. It Began With the Sun

Laser rays and isolation

Just how I would spend

the end of

My sunflower youth

Before I set off to my adventure,

A life that could not be claimed by

My mother’s past

Only my feet marching to newfound

Fear.

I wore a silky white T-Shirt,

Daisy wore overalls and a gray long sleeve

Late summer sun blazed black leather seats,

Metal belt stung with magma jaws;

A day at the mall with friends,

That's all It was.

I was just coming back from Houston

Something about the city ate away at me,

My family felt like a parasitic reflection:

A dystopian image I could not rattle- so I

Marched off.

Nothing but plains blessed my surroundings,

Farmland said to be gold

Dead grass like evergreen forests

Orchards sprayed with white paint

Tar roads with chalk drawings leading

Up to

Twists and turns

Here I faded away from

The front seat conversations

Let my shy tendencies take hold

Gold lenses flaring with curiosity,

H o p e.

V. Tonight You Belong To Me

I saw a maniac on the car roof in

The mall garage parking lot slowly slipping,

Screaming, not afraid but excited,

Clenching stupidity and death with flailing arms.

I awoke from my silent stupor, shot

Joy from my anchored mind

Strolled shop after shop realizing what this could all be,

Freedom from laser rays and isolation:

A new happiness.