Empty Promises
Empty promises are all I seem to get
Putting out the fire that the same hands lit
Simple acts of kindness that hold so much
Reinforcing support, a temporary crutch
Slivers of glass replace slivers of hope
Triggers replace methods used to cope
Making a new friend today, inheriting a stranger tomorrow.
A constant reminder "what we reap, we sow."
Consider it grim, for todays presentation we choose needle and thread
Stitching up what's come unraveled, the subject far from dead.
The smell of wet ink, the sound of pen moving against paper.
Signing over the rights to a body that never belonged to her.
A silent promise of never-ending words, a screaming whisper to no longer be heard.
She opens her mouth to let out her final breath, instead of stale air her last words fall out instead.
"Empty promises are all I seem to get. Putting out the fire that the same hands lit. "
Failures
Out of mind, out of sight.
Why can't anything ever go right?
I give all I have every day.
Yet it all falls apart in the same way.
You finally see a hint of change in the near future.
Until it doesn't work out, and it's the same pain you have to endure.
I finally found a job to support my family.
Only it turns out to be a scam, just like they said it would be.
Living week to week wondering how I'm going to pay the bills.
Knowing my little boy could lose his home inside it kills.
Knowing everything is a priority but trying to find out which is more important.
Being told to stay positive, but some days knowing I can't.
It's hard knowing you can't give up because you have someone else depending on you.
It's hard wanting to break down and scream but you have a boy watching what you do.
How do you tell your baby you can't give him what he wants for his second birth day?
How do you hold him in your arms and make him feel better when you're not even sure if you're okay?
Feeling like a constant failure to everyone.
Wanting so badly to never become a failure to your own son.
Into my mind, into my sight.
Silently wishing an opportunity would come to light.
Whiplash
The storm is all around me, going 90 mph. My face is becoming red, my skin it is starting to devour. Desperately turning, looking in every direction. Not knowing where to end, not knowing where to begin. "You need to find God, you need to move forward." Is there someone with all the answers..if so, where is this almighty lord? Has he known the answers all along, did he know the choice I would make before it became wrong? So many prayers that I said, if only to say them outloud to get them out of my head. Talking to the man in the sky, only when I needed something in return. Seeing the light inside of me fade, watching the flame go out and no longer burn. I take one step forward, just to fall two steps back. Looking past the gray clouds surrounding me, I see the foundation of my life starting to crack. Feeling so helpless I just want to get out, energy failing, I try to find my voice.. just to realize I lost my shout. Mentally glueing the broken pieces back together. Counting the causualties as I work, trying to replace the image with who we all were. "You cant jepordize your hapiness worrying about sin, you need to live your life." The words being shooved down my throat, branding me with the cut of the knife. If beliving in the solution that will bring you fun will also bring you death, is it really a solution at all? Having too much fun and hell go hand in hand. Both will leave you alone with the walls of insanity that you will crawl. How do we decipher between living life and living so much you're not living at all? Everyone brags about living on the edge, but no one talks about when living becomes dying and no one is around to hear you fall. The truth, the few moments of being alive that inside hide the ungliness. Mothers, father's, daughters,sons,sisters, brothers, the unbelievable moments that you will miss. Sacrifices made in order to feel free where no freedom exists, we did anything we could in order to feel okay, knowing the truth once it's to late I scream as the ground meets my fist. Angel on one side, devil on the other. They are me, I am them, if I push them away, my own voice I will forever smother. Ringing in my ears replaces the noise as I temporarly push them away. Look deeper and you will see the whiplash that is here to stay. They will be back no matter how much the sun may shine. Behind every blue sky is a storm, and this is mine.