I'm tripping and thinking.  My bae is somewhere talking politics And defending the downtrodden.  

 She's something different than what I know or what I find comfortable.  

 I drank a bottle of wine that cost two grand.  Got just as buzzed as a 5 dollar six of pack. 

 I've walked roads I can't remember.  Seen things that made me trip. She's something different than the screaming, the fights.  She drinks bud light, in restaurants I shouldn't be in, when the waiter snubs his nose.  

He looked from me to her. Back again.  Until he concluded I was bought and paid for.  

 I saw the meteors from my back on her riverbank at midnight.  

 Parts of me break away every day.  

She and her world slip inches from my hand by the second.  

 I need her to say no.  For once just pick me

There's a point where you realize you can't exist in a world that isn't really yours.  

 The weight of it all settles on brittle bones.  No longer strong enough to hold the mounting confusion.  

 You say you love me to the East winds. Just so that it can be carried away by the freshness of breeze. 

 Ultimatums bring silence. 

Like bones scraping the black top. 

In pain, physical,  I wait for your gaze to find me.  

My bae is asleep in my arm's.  

Her head is my lap and that's enough. 

I'm lookin down on her eyes.  Fluttering from an incoherent dream world to a mild dose of reality.  

 She shuts her eyes and shuts me out . As if I do not understand the implications of it all. 

 I focus on me n ignore her. 

I'm not political per se. I know what I know. What I believe and even before there was a Bae I was leaning towards the conservative side. I'm liberal,  I guess.  

 My bae's in a political family I guess.  She's red wearing Republican. Tonight I watched her kill a 20 year friendship.  Not in defense of Trump but in defense of her brother and her beliefs.  

 I watched her lose her temper When sexual orientation was brought into the argument.  She defended me.  She defended everything she loved. 

 I needed to see you like that.  

 Thank you 

You know,  bae's sleeping on my lap. 

I'm stoned overlooking a lake that bae says is a river. 

 I Have my niggas past out on the living room floor

. Did I mention my bae is sleeping on my lap? I am blessed.  I choked. 

She's drunk because she's nervous

New people scare her. 

You can't tell unless you know

The way her nose crinkles like a rabbit

she hides from the world 

ashamed of the way she was made

Her "rabbit nose" is my favorite thing

it Is how I know.  

She's ashamed of everything about her bur me.  Misguided much?  

The ironic notion of anyone bragging

on me. 

I watched her tell her writing friend I was beautiful.  I can belive that through her fucked up drunken eyes. 

 She'll fall asleep not knowing. I'll wake up with her arms. 

 Loyalty is dead.  Even in the best of the best.  We're all outlaws in a time when outlaws die alone. 

It's been forever since I've smelled fresh air.  Really breathed it in.  

I've gone from here to there.  Place to place.  One mind numbing cell block to the next.  I remind Bae all the time. This isn't like Chicago.  

 I don't think she listens.  She gets an stressed look in her eyes.  Does that nervous thing where she tucks her hair behind her left ear.  She smiles.  Even if she doesn't mean it. 

 She's five feet from me.  Struggling with the cork on our fourth bottle of wine.  I'm smell like Marlboro Reds and her Chanel No.  5. 

 Maybe this is freedom.  A cigarette and an ice cold beer and my bae with her pompador smelling like whiskey and laughing while she fills my Styrofoam cup with wine I can't pronounce

I jumped a train at midnight. 

From the bridge in my hometown. 

We were ghetto bad, wanna be bloods.

Star-crossed lovers. Freedom and me.

liberation starts inside the death of

The you they knew

It's my ride, bitches. Fuck the haters. Be my ride or die.