Wish for Me
I was watching him. He was next to the water, the lake just sitting there. It was the third time this week I had observed him. He sat with his sneaker clad feet nearly in the water; just lingering on the shore. He had wrapped his muscular arms around himself with his knees to his chest. He would switch between resting his head on his knees like a pillow or looking out across the starlit lake He never took anything with him and this night was no different. All he did was look, listen, and think. It was time for him to speak.
I came down from my spot perched high in a tree and walked; floated to him. He didn’t hear me. I was only five steps from him when I stopped. He didn’t hear me, only his head on his knees breathing heavily. I floated closer to him; looming over him. He looked up.
I could make out his features now, like I had remembered from his first day. Brown hair similar to that of a tree. A sharp jaw line and a pointed nose. I still couldn’t see his eyes, but I did see tears lining his cheeks. He was upset. Exactly why I was here.
“Thomas.” He looked up startled. He wiped his tears away trying to erase the evidence. “You wished for me.”
He spoke in barely a whisper: “I didn’t wish for a harsh looking man.”
“You wished for someone to take you away. Your wish is my command.” I spoke softly, but forcefully. “You’re tired of feeling useless. You’re tired of feeling unnecessary. You want to leave, don’t you Thomas?”
He stood up exposing his eyes to me. A deep blue just like they were as a child. “How did you know that? How do you know me? Who are you?”
“I’ve watched you since the beginning of your life. I know you better than anyone else you know who I am. You know that I can make all of it go away; the pain, the hurt. Everything.”
“How can you make it end? You’re just a harsh man cloaked in black. You don’t even have colored eyes. What are you?” He questioned trying to find my soul through my colorless eyes. He wouldn’t find it, but he could try.
“Don’t insult someone that can give you what you want. Treat me like an old friend because that’s exactly what I am.” I spoke gesturing to myself then opening my arms wide. “I’ve known you since the first second you were born and knew you would come to me one day; everyone does. I usually wait until someone is old from age not from the adventures life brings. You seem to have out aged your sense of adventure. You’re ready to go.”
“What do you mean you wait? What do you mean everyone knows you? You’re just a man. Just like everyone else… Aren’t you?”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I’m anything but a man. People never even think of me as a person. A figment in life; a concept perhaps. They refer to where my figment can take you. I am generally feared, but shouldn’t be. I do what is necessary when it is needed.”
“Where can you take them? What do you do? Why are you feared?”
“I can take you to one of two places. It is your choice where you would like to go, but once you choose you can’t change your mind.” Thomas gestured for me to continue. I gesture skyward, “Heaven,” I gesture down, “or Hell?”
He began to back away from me as if I was insane when I was the only sane one here. “You’ve wanted this. You tried once to leave. That day when you slit your wrists, but I wanted to see if you would change your mind; gave you another chance. You didn’t change your mind.” I began to tread closer to him. “You’ve come here contemplating life and have been waiting for the right time to go. It is your time to go. This is what you wanted. This is what you need.”
Thomas was forced to walk backwards by my movement and water sloshed around his ankles as he treaded into the lake. “I’ve tried to take your chance and make it better for me. I tried. I tried making things work between my parents and I. I tried talking to a psychologist. I even found a girlfriend, but she wouldn’t have me. I can’t take the rejection and the pain. I am ready.”
That was all it took. I moved beside him and put an arm on his shoulder walking us out towards the center of the lake. Thomas didn’t look at me nor the shoreline. He looked straight forward. He wasn’t afraid anymore. He wasn’t hurt. He was ready.
“One last thing Thomas: Heaven or Hell?”
“Wherever I belong Death.”
“As you wish.”
Thomas went with me, his old friend. Now, I wait for the next person to wish for me. I walk streets and peek through windows. Anywhere it seems I’m needed. I go anywhere I am wished for. I wait on them to wish for me: to wish for Death.
Re-Embodiment
Oh, how a world could be
Had I never gone away
Had the world never turned dark
Had night never replaced day.
For I was different:
New, Smart, Inspiring
Beautiful how I was,
But I could not continue to sing.
For my voice was barely there
A small whisper in the wind,
But the wind stopped blowing
My whisper could not send.
For my mind was riddled with wrongs
Dreams made nightmares
And upside wrong became right
I could not handle the unneeded stares.
New, Smart, and Inspiring I may be,
But I was not necessary
I just filled a body
I was only temporary.
So I took myself
And as the story goes
The body was gone
And I floated to where only God knows.
For I did not fill that body anymore
I could do nothing there
I wanted to be more
Than a concerning scare.
For I lived above
Above the city light
Among the clouds
Where I could shine bright.
But I could not stay above
I was needed below
To fill a new body
With mind and soul.
Oh, how the world will be
When I come back from away
When the world turns light
When night becomes day.