“You can’t see me!” As I giggle, it’s dark and only the moon casts enough light to throw shadows across the yard.

“Ah, but I can hear you” we dart from place to place flashlights are not allowed in this game! as kids we found things to keep us busy and our parents from going insane.

The rustling of leaves as we ran, the only sound heard and used for a sense of direction! and tripping over a stump or two was common, too..

Four of us laughing as we scurry to find a better hiding spot! Pine trees were the best as we would almost climb to the top to avoid being caught!

The game would last for hours, we played once a week, the time spent was well worth the pine sap in our hair and on our jeans..!

Though this was twenty-three years ago, I can remember like it was yesterday, two friends have passed since then, and the others moved away, connected at heart and hide and seek in the dark..!

Sitting in the corner stuck with them again, back tucked against the wall and I feel I’ll surely fall, blank stare, disassociated from it all. A little light is shining in from across the hall. Knees to chest, white knuckle grip just don’t let me slip. My mind is that of a narrow staircase.

A bottomless pit winding down and climbing them is hard enough when no one wants to help you up, the top a million stars brightly shine. Simply out of reach I shall just admire the illuminated sky I know I will never breach. Locked away tight where no one can hear the internal sighs.

You say the sun will rise to push the shadows aside, I’m still waiting for mine to be afraid of the sunlight, with my hand held high I will search for any signs of life, question is; will you be the hand that I find?

Wish she could say the darkness brought her peace, sitting here in silence just makes it feel like dread so deep. Though stars may shine, and crickets chirp.. the air is thick and stagnant.

Days seem long and nights she hates the most, it drags along while she is stuck in her head too long, thoughts they course through like waves crashing on shore of loud thunderous roars with never any remorse. While Everyone is asleep, she is left scolding herself to bits.

She’s falling apart even more, piece by piece she’ll rip herself to shreds. Yet rise the next day, fulfill daily tasks and wait as night rolls about and there she will be, repeating her nightly routine..

Are you okay?! The voices abruptly shrilled in my head, startling me as I lay in my bed. Outside a sound of rain heavily pounds on the window panes, realizing I have been alone feeling more hopeless at night, I know.

A sense of being on a long winding road then hitting a mental breaking wall; shortness of breath, emotional pain, a discouraging strain. This heart of mine is heavy all the time, days I will laugh and say I am falling apart, I do it from the start.

But every night I am hastily asked “Are you okay?” Though it is not a person that seeks, it is only me you see.

Sometimes I lie awake at night

wondering how I manage

to survive the day,

a constant battle

I must say.

Days could be happy other times

crawling around with my face

Paralyzed to the ground dark

and afraid.

The struggles between myself

and reality are so disconnected,

I feel I’ve created and have been

rejected. But why?

All I know is abandonment,

pushed aside like an old rag doll

whose stitching unraveled from time,

that everyone left to be alone inside.

Why- why does beauty never last?

the softness of our skin fades as we age, eyes once bright and vibrant, now dull and grey.

Every wrinkle on our forehead tells a story of all the worries that we’ve ever had, and the circles under our eyes the sleepless nights.

Tears that we have cried over the years that we have tried to over come so many hard times, and lips once silky and smooth have lost luster.

Cracked and pruned with smile lines still upon the cheeks ever so sweetly tis’ true. Our hair was shiny and brilliant.

Time token so soon, everything is so brittle even our nails are breaking too, I can’t help but cry because life is hastily ticking by.

An ache of watching as we grow, realizing there’s nothing we can do to take it slow, these years are not kind and I’m not ready to leave anyone behind.