Once upon a time I used to have no boundaries, no conditions, the sky was the limit. I gave of myself with no expectation of reciprocity. The only color lines were... well there were none. I only wanted to give so much of myself that unity replaced discord; joy replaced sadness; kindness replaced anger and friendship replaced enemies. Once upon a time.... I’m still hopeful that the purest form of me can be found again!

Sincerly,

signed LOVE

We all seek it, we expect it; in fact we all teach our children to find it. Purpose. But how do you know when you're close or miles away? Where is the anchor in which I can determine if I'm anywhere in the vicinity? I have sought many avenues people, secondary education, self help and on and on.

This resolve that I have come to is by far one of the most conflicting ideas in the world! Each person has unique gifts, abilities and purpose, I fit somewhere in this vast puzzle of humanity and even if it is only to plant a seed of charity or love or inspiration to another in which they can impact another then fulfillment is the goal.

But still how does this sense of fulfillment happen... it happens when you come to the identity that God is the creator of everything including you and me. When someone creates something, it is ultimately to serve a purpose! Oh, yeah that word again...

Was gasoline created to remain in the rocks, or the refinery or the barrells? Does the farmer plant food only for it to remain in the field? Does the carpenter build a home only for it to remain empty? Then even if you struggle with believing in God, you have to ask then why was I permitted to live at this time, why was I given breath? Purpose, fulfillment. That's it...

Most of us live parallel to or in between these very dynamic attributes. Sometimes knowingly and others unknowingly. I am one of these individuals that knows.

One side of this coin is fear. I admit one of my greatest struggles. Fear makes me want to cling, grasp and control every aspect of my life. Controlling my environment, who comes in and who can go out. Fearful that the mistreatment done to me maybe done to my children or husband; I then become the protector. Refusing to believe that somethings are just out of my control. Clinging to a lying perception of worthlessness, afraid to live out my dreams. Yet grasping for a moment of breakthrough to free me from the circus of fear that tries to live in mind because I want to live my best life.

Attachment provides security to some degree. Security in what's familiar, the known instead of the unknown. Through my journey of life I've learned attachment can be a curse or a blessing. For instance, maybe I've attachment myself to an idea that my success is determined by choices and skill; not from what side of the tracks I grew up on or how rich or poor I was. Realizing that I can become anything "I" choose. This is good attachment. But what if I am attached to an idea that I am no better than what people say about me. Harmful attachment.

What if attachment and fear became fuel to explore opportunities beyond the boundary lines, not just coloring outside the lines but creating an entirely new picture. You decide!

#perspective