I'm standing on the edge

Of a forever I never knew

I would ever see.

And then I see it- Reality.

The broken promises

And hidden lies.

The shredded hearts

And blurred gray lines.

The shadows creeping

Inside my sullen brain,

Staring out the window

At a world drowned in rain.

I have lived

So long

For other people...

I don't know

How to live

For myself.

You're fighting so hard.

You want to change who you are.

I don't understand why you can't see how perfect you are.

I don't understand why you hate yourself.

I don't hate you.

I love you, exactly as you are.

I know how selfish you are.

I know how mean you can be.

I know how twisted your mind can get.

But I love you, anyway.

I love you because you're flawed, you're human, you're REAL.

So why are you fighting?

I convince myself

That nights are

Colder without

Your body heat,

But the truth is

That it's warmer

When I'm not

Fighting for the

Blankets anymore.

Loving you

Is a cruel joke.

It is everything

I ever wanted,

Kept just beyond

My fingertips.

Some days I ache,

Trying to remember

The feel of your skin

Beneath my hands.

Other days it's

A memory so clear

It takes my breath,

As though you're

Right here with me.

I'm sorry that I'm

A storm in a teacup,

And I'm sorry

That you can't fix me.

But I have to believe

You can love me

Despite everything,

Because I have

Nothing else to

Believe in anymore.

Sometimes

I forget how

To love you,

Because I

Don't know

How to love

Myself.