Who is the Coward?

I fear the doom

that waits outside the classroom.

At home

is where my demons roam.

I can never stop them.

I can never beat them.

I can never speak of them.

I can never defeat them.

How I long to be free!

But can a coward such as me

Ever live to see

A day where they can truly be

free?

Not good enough

pretty enough

nice enough

smart enough

strong enough

wise enough.

Not enough.

Only stupid enough

stubborn enough

to keep going, keep fighting, keep surviving.

I can never defeat them.

I can only outlive them.

Because my demons won't be here forever,

although I wish they were here never.

Someday I may find peace

knowing that every piece

of my broken brain

scattered like drops of rain

may once again be whole

instead of hiding in this hole

where no matter how loud I beg

the coward above will never turn their head

and stop shoveling the dirt over me

because they will always choose to see

that the coward here is me.