Rain and coffee
Finally I have time
And I don't know what to do with it
but write and wonder
Placid white walls
Then sit in quiet contemplation
An old man ask Why am I not out like the other girls having fun?
Sometimes fun
is silently observing
The laughs
The disagreements
The songs
in the audience
I sit
Entertained
lips shut
for once
Mind still
As the rain puddles
not muddied
clear crystals
Awakened
street life
It's hard to stay clean in a dirt city
Cruel police
and gold fillings
The water is unfit to drink
All this commotion I can't think
Dirty spoons in the kitchen sink
Fall into the black magic
Baby's in the back room something tragic
Scraping together pennies
Minute morals all I have left in me
The streets my friend my enemy
A haunting lover coming to end me
Men with Benefits
Your first mistake was thinking you were the exemption
Exempt from the careless attitude he showed others
Exempt from the selfishness of taking and not giving
Exempt from the no attachments
No relationship rule
You thought one day it would mean more to him
He would relish the energetic exchange
Love your mind,body and soul plus the spaces in between you don't even understand
Your second mistake was expectations
You went in with low expectations
No expectations
So why are you surprised you got nothing back
Your third mistake was believing your own illusions
Delusions of grandeur love
Home alone waiting by the phone
Hoping for something that never was
Never will be
How many times will you lay beside him and see
The girls calling
Texting
Sexting
Romancing
Before you realize it will never be different for you
He won't change his ways because he doesn't have to
He doesn't love you
Appreciate you
Cherish you
But do you even feel this way about yourself?
Your fourth mistake
And the biggest
So close your eyes and pay attention
Was not loving yourself
Not wanting more and accepting so little
From yourself and from others
So next time when you see the signs
Hear the lines
Forgive him
But say not this time
Because I know what I deserve
Who I deserve
And I'm a queen who deserves the world
confessions on a sidewalk
Last night
under the influence of the Capricorn moon
I shed all the worries of my heart
The intensity of my pain
My heartache
All the things that won't let my mind rest
I may have scared someone I love
Who wasn't use to such displays
but I couldn't stop
Whiskey shots
Broke down the walls I took so long to build
There I stood
Naked as the day I came into such a pitiful existence
Begging for you to cover me
you could not
The task too great
the silence was enough
I am grateful that you were there
To at least listen
To bare witness to the poison of my mind
And although all my problems are still here
I feel a lightness that wasn't here yesterday
The embarrassment of last night will fade
I am finally able to face the day
Without the anxieties that were weighing me down
The walls were holding me hostage
I couldn't have known that until they were destroyed