I've been on the road since I was fifteen. Living out of suitcases and too afraid to unpack, because I feared it not being permanent.

I didn't fear staying in one place for too long- in fact that's what I truly want- no, I feared that as soon as my clothes filled the shelves and I had a bed to my own that it would be ripped away. It's hard not to make connections, not to get too close, because you know that it could all disappear within a blink of an eye.

I've been looking for a home and I have had this sudden realization that maybe I am home. Maybe, the road is my friend, my suitcase my closet, my car my bed, and the radio my friend. Maybe home is just a loose term, like a loose button on a sweater. The world is the sweater and I'm the button barely hanging on-but still apart of the sweater, forgotten, but not forgotten. I'm still important, I still matter, I still have a home on the sweater. Maybe, I am home and I should just keep running with the world.

The tears? 

Mine. 

The blood on my hands? 

Hers. 

"I didn't mean to,"

I whisper to myself.

"Don't lie to yourself," he taunts. 

My mind spins and suddenly I'm very hot.

"We both know this was no accident,"

Guilt whispers and embraces me,

knowing he is my only friend now. 

 It has just rained.

 The slick grass tickles my bare feet and curls in-between my toes, 

 I run toward the smell of fresh rain and the forest that make my heart race. 

 The wind whispers eagerly into my ears telling me secrets of places only he can see.

 I continue to walk,

as light as air, until I’m slowly drifting away and floating, 

 as he cradles me in the palm of his hand. 

My heart is bursting with delight and pouring out of my smile and through my laugh.

Suddenly, I'm soaring at a pace that makes my head spin 

 when the wind challenges me to a race. 

Taking off at a delirious pace, I fly, twist, and spring through the air 

 I feel him quick on my heels.

 He’s not letting me win easy.

The clouds around me turn dark and taunting,

my blood swirls with fear and anxiety, I push harder

 a cool breeze of his hand wraps around my ankle, pulling me

 down 

down 

down, 

Until I'm falling, uncontrollably fast, he has stolen my laughter 

turned it into his own, thunderous and powerful. 

The Devil is ruthless thrashing me around the harsh sky,

laughing at my doll like weakness.

My screams are lost in the cracks of lightning as I continue to fall into the dark clouds.

His sinister eyes smile as he looks upon me,

 watching me as I tumble in a crooked dance.

He slowly begins clapping his hands matching the rhythm of the thunder, 

the claps clash together creating a dubious symphony of horror.

I close my eyes bracing for the Devil himself. 

 Water dances on my forehead and then rolls over my closed eyes. 

Blinking away the rain, I hear his thunderous boom in the distance 

I pull myself out of the embrace of the grass and run through the puddles on the way home.