Relationships are hard. I've invested so much of my life, my best years, in you. In us.

And yet here we are, saddled with the same problems, no resolutions in sight. When we first met, i was enamored with your beauty. The gentle softness of your curves, contrasted with the unyielding nature of your core. But despite that nature, you were constantly trying to evolve. With an eye to the future. And any time i started to drift, your charm would pull me back. You inspired people. But now look at you. You've become complacent. You dont take care of yourself anymore. Your spartan beauty is gone. You're covered in plastic. Time has ravaged you of your natural gifts. You've gotten angry and unpredictable. The only thing you inspire now is bellicosity, to the point that its dangerous to be around you. So thats it, I've had enough. This time when I leave, i'm not coming back. I'll blast off, secure in knowing that what else is out there is better than what you have to offer. A new beginning. A fresh start. No more broken promises. I just need to break away. But every time i leave, i make the mistake of looking back. And from this perspective, your blemishes fade. I remember the good times. Your depths. Your heights. Your untapped potential. You could still change. This is when i decide to let go of what i've been carrying around, and rocket back to you. I'm not thinking straight, your gravity well is pulling me back in. And we rush toward each other at breakneck speeds. I reorient just in time, and gently land back in your warm embrace. We promise each other this time will be different. That perspective is all we needed. That this time i'll stay grounded.

Alone one night at a bar, I spied a woman from afar,

and pondered the thought of approaching, and many topics i could be broaching, discussing the weather and what she wore.

When a shrouded figure dark and frightening, grabbed my arm, his grip tightening

frightening me to my core.

"Dont you move, stay right here," he hissed and snapped into my ear

"You would fail, you'd be rejected. Wouldnt you rather be respected? Stay here where you can stay a self-respected bore."

And then he reared back and laughed, satisfied at his perfected craft

of preventing me from risking more.

The next day i went off to work, my boss was proving to be a jerk,

and i was considering applying, for a job more satisfying, and hastening my way out the door.

When something seized upon my wrist, a shadowy monster snarled and hissed

and stopped me from typing anymore.

"You're not good enough," he spat. "You're safer staying where you're at.

Why venture out on a skinny branch, when you could stay in your current circumstance.

Stay here where you know what's in store."

I thought of the monster's advice, and why i was content to pay the price

of allowing fear to close an open door.

Heaven is the day after Labor Day at the Jersey Shore. It appears suddenly, heralded by a mass exodus of cars and people. In the void, they leave a tranquility broken only by the occasional chirp of sea birds and the rhythmic crashing of ocean waves into the surf. There are no pearly gates that guard its entrance- just a retiree under a wooden booth with leathery skin and a welcoming smile. She wont judge your deeds like St Peter, but she does require $8 and a promise that you wont litter. You might see an old bearded man, but he's more concerned with his metal detector than your sins and the only thing he cares about ascending is the tide. Despite the lack of harps and angels, it is paradise. Close your eyes and hear the sound of the ocean waves rolling in. The salt air clears your mind. You are present, in the moment. You scoop up a handful of warm sand and let it slip through your fingers, marveling at its fine quality. You stare at the majestic osprey riding the warm air currents to its nest. You observe the fisherman, patiently waiting for a bite while taking in the sunrise. The beach is dotted with small children, building sand castles, playing in the waves, giggling. You recline in your beach chair, tip your hat down low, close your eyes, and appreciate the warmth of the sun's rays on your skin. The ocean breeze lightly blows by. Time becomes an illusion as your feet sink into the soft grains. How long have you been here? Hours? Days? One moment blends into the next and you might just stay here for all eternity. Then you hear it. Faint at first. A rhythmic beating- is it your heart? A bass. In the distance a BMW approaches. Through an open window, you see an artificially tanned fist pumping to the beat. The retiree shudders her booth, but it is too late- the gates have been overrun. Once cast out, they have returned. Memorial Day is here. The garden paradise slowly fades into the background, overtaken by sentient flat-brimmed hats and crushed beer cans. Locals can only bide their time til the Fall returns.

contemplation

stagnation

procrastination

frustration

inspiration

gestation

creation

hesitation

qualification

vexation

lamentation

observation

consideration

truncation

realization

relaxation

the lady fair with auburn hair

her vision was crystal clear

she patrolled the streets of Blurry Town

while the guilty dared to make a sound

because she only had one ear

Don't you want to know how she became a cop

its a cliffhanger- now we have to stop

I was lazing on my couch, when there arose such a sound

a u-haul announcing a new person in town

I peered through the blinds to see dark glasses and a tan

a weird looking skinny and suspicious sort of man

He concealed his hair with a cap, and opened the old uhaul's trunk

and I was sure he'd be moving nothing but junk

His glasses were tarnished, his cap was askew

He'd never fit in here, in my personal view

The boxes were heavy and he peered around,

but i couldnt be seen helping the new weirdo in town

I was newly single

and I wanted to be cool

my reputation would be damaged if seen helping this fool

So i dimmed my lights and pretended i wasnt home

in hopes he'd keep moving his boxes alone

The boxes looked heavy and he started to struggle

this skinny young man was having some trouble

Then just when i thought the move would never end

the weirdo was able to recruit a new friend

then a second and a third, my neighbors came to his aid

and soon I wondered why I had been afraid

The move was finished and all that was left

was to shake hands with all the new friends he had met

The weird man removed his glasses, hat, and stuck out his hand

and i looked on in astonishment that it wasnt a man

Her hair fell long as she thanked them and grinned

and she shook the hands of my neighbors and invited them in

I looked on through my blinds and all i could see

was the dawning realization that the weird one was me.

In the end, it was our vanity.

Pills that grew natural hair, thicker and fuller than the original strands.

Sold by a faceless organization.

Youth was a hell of a drug.

The thoughts were subtle at first, like a whisper.

By the time we realized, it was already too late.

Nathan

Address: P.O. Box 187     Phone: I'll call you     Email: AssassiNate@aol.com

Professional Summary:

-over 15 years of extensive hands-on experience in expedited problem resolution

-well versed in several methodologies of discreet silencing of objectionable entities

Skills:

-proficient with cutlery

-thorough with heavy duty cleaning duties, including removing pesky stains from floors, walls, and carpets

-expert at laying cement

-Windows 95

-Excel

Notable Experience:

Someone Needed a Guy for a Thing (March 2016)

-job required extra manpower

-showed leadership skills by managing team including lookout and driver

-lookout and driver not available for references

Tailor Request(November 2011)

-customer was fitted with special necktie of the Sicilian variety

-customer was measured for shoes to facilitate river-bottom ambling

Took Care of Something (September 2003)

-showed good long range vision

-widened scope to obtain objective

-hit target goals

Chik-Fil-A (June 2000)

-lead fry cook

-showed ingenuity in finding inexpensive replacements for chicken meat

Education:

Fairleigh Dickinson University Teaneck,NJ 2002

BA Liberal Arts

Oscar took another drag from his cigarette.  It had been a long night.  He glanced down at the conveyor belt trundling along, coughing up small plumes of smoke.  Deep in the subbasement below he could hear the latest protestations of the engine that had driven his production line for too many years without repairs.  It had been 20 hours since he had received word from on high- production was to be doubled, the Mouse was in dire need.  The Big guy had delivered the message himself, appearing ruffled with bloodshot eyes.  The Mouse had a way of doing that to you.  

The phone rang and Oscar checked the caller id and grimaced- it was one of his idiot drivers.  He checked his watch and grimaced again.

"Bert, you were supposed to check in hours ago!"

"We have a problem.  Ernest lost his rubber ducky and is refusing to leave Albuquerque til we find it."

"Albuquerque?!  You were supposed to be back in New York City by noon!  What am I supposed to do with all this extra product?!  Get back here now, i don't care what Ernie says!"

Oscar took a deep breath to calm his nerves.  The doctor said to stop being angry.  He had to take it easy, something about his blood pressure.  But the doc didn't have to answer to the Big guy.  Looming over you craning that big neck.  Plumage stretched out in anger.  He was an imposing figure on normal days, and today was anything but normal.  And now Oscar had a surplus of product and nowhere to put it.  Big wooden blocks of A's, B's, C's...the alphabet was in high demand- every morning show for kids needed them for props.  Schoolhouse Rocks, Dora, that rhyming cat, and of course the Mouse.  He promised a huge shipment to Orlando tonight, his delivery men were nowhere in sight, and his factory was swamped with product.  He called the inventory guy to keep everything organized.  

"386 A's, ah ah ah, 387 A's, 388 A's..."

"Can we speed it up, Count?  I don't have all day!!!"

The Count surveyed the warehouse full of wooden blocks and shook his head in disbelief.

"How quickly these unsent letters accumulate!" 

A man takes the change from his delivery order and pauses over a grimy penny before discarding it and settling into the grooves of his couch.

Earlier, a delivery man accepts the contents of his daughter's piggy bank to help pay the rent.

Earlier, a little girl squeals as she takes the penny a magician just pulled out of her ear.

Earlier, a deli owner flips a penny in the air to decide whether to pursue his dream of being a magician.

Earlier, a homeless man picks up a penny from under a table so he has enough money to buy a sandwich.

Earlier, a man wedges a penny under a wobbly table leg at a cafe where he will propose.

Earlier, a man walking home contemplates ordering delivery. He glimpses a shiny penny falling from his pocket as he fumbles for his keys.