Pain
It started with pain.
Making slits in my wrist,
That sting like fire
And as straight as an arrow.
It started with pain.
Smoking that poisonous stick.
Letting it fill my chest,
One take at a time.
It started with pain.
Chugging down the devil's water.
So bitter and strong,
Yet sweet and kind to my heart.
It started with pain.
Trying new things,
Like Blue Dream and Durban Poison
As my eyes became rubies.
It started with pain.
Bottle after bottle
Each one filled to the top
With the best of what medicine can make.
It started with pain.
Piles of white on top of my table.
Giving me this feeling of energy,
That I still don’t have.
It started with pain.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I pulled on the trigger.
Now I have no more pain.
Home
I sit in my tank
all warm and calm.
No one to bother me
no one at all.
I sit in my tank
waiting for that tall pale thing
who feeds me at night
yummy little treats.
I sit in my tank
ready to hunt.
As the thing places that white blob
in the of my home.
I sit in my tank
watching the blob.
Running in circles
all day long.
I sit in my tank
about to strike.
But thing picks me up
and takes me away from blob.
I sit in thing's hand
all curled up and small.
Thing made our eyes lock
and thing smiled.
I sat in thing's hand
" I love you Noodles "
My thing said
as it kissed my small head.
I sat in thing's hand
knowing I'm loved.
I love my thing.
She is my home.
Do you...?
Do you ever just sit in the dark? No music. No sound. No light. Just you and darkness. But sooner or later the thoughts come in. You start to think a lot more, a lot deeper since you're alone. You think about the past and all the memories and mistakes you made. You think about the future and what kind you want... and what kind you think you'll most likely have. You think about how you feel. The feelings you hide from your friends cause you don't know how to explain them. You think about what could of happened, what should of happened. You sit there and think about everything. You think about why the stars burn and how the Earth flows. You ask yourself questions like, " What if..? " and " Why..? " You question your choices and yell at your mistakes. You cry at the memories you made and cry harder at the ones you didn't get a chance to make. You lay there or sit there it doesn't matter. Either way, you're still in the darkness. The darkness that you feel safe in. People get mad at us when we don't talk about our feelings. But I do. I talk about them to the darkness. He's the closest friend I got. Now...tell me... do you sit in the dark?
Ginger
There once was a boy.
His name brought me joy.
His red hair had flair.
His skin oh so fair.
With eyes as blue as the sky.
And kisses that would toxify.
God I miss his freckles.
And the way he chuckles.
Now I just see him in the hall.
Not talking a all.
Oh how I miss him so.I wish I didn't have to let him go.
It’s Not Worth it
Dying. Ending it. Saying your last hellos and goodbyes. Leaving a little too early. That's not the answer. And yes I mean suicide, it's the worse decision you could make. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, it's not worth the pain and suffering left behind as a seed in everyone's hearts, slowly growing day by day. Trust me, I've been through the pain, and seeing the light isn't the best feeling in the world. You feel cold to the touch and can almost feel your young soul leave your body to end up no where. Swallowing those pills or stepping off a chair. Cutting the vein or pulling the trigger. A long goodbye letter or no letter at all. It doesn't matter how you leave this place, you'll end up leaving the biggest dent in peoples hearts. The stories that would be told about you would always end up in tears. Happy memories turn into the last moments they saw you. The days will never be the same. Friends and family don't want to say goodbye to their little angel. They've seen you grow up you're entire life. From leaving the hospital with your mother and father, to the homecoming you just went to about 3 weeks ago. They knew you would become such a beautiful person. They want to see you grow even more. They want to see you go to prom. They want to watch you get married. They want to see your children grow up. Children are suppose to outlive their parents. Sure this place might be hell, but 6 feet underground isn't any better sweetie. So trust me on when I say don't do it. Too many people love you and there is so much to life that you haven't seen. You haven't felt the touch of water from Dubai. You haven't smelled the fresh air of Scotland. You haven't found true love... No matter how hard it is, you're strong enough to go though it. And if you need help, you got the friends and family that you wanted to leave behind. So please, for me, for everyone that loves you, for your untouched soul, and for yourself... Don't leave, this place will miss you way too much. We love you..