Tell me, please--I need to know--

What lies outside the universe?

And what outside of that?

Where is the end of everything?

And afterward--what then?

You say the world whirls around

Like a top: Then why aren't we all dizzy?

Who started it going, and when will it stop?

And where, up there, is little sister?

Is she shining like a star?

(Why does mamma turn away and cry a little,

Though springtime birds and singing--

And flowers all around?)

#poetry

As the tired old sun

Was sinking into the sea,

There spread a silence all around,

vast and overwhelming

as the great round sun itself.

Even the twittering birds were stilled

While today slid away into the past,

carrying with it all that might have been...

a mournful whisper in the wind that said it all:

"You waited too long..."

Let me be a child again with childlike faith.

Let the kind old man with long white beard

Drift down from his cloud and fold me in,

And wipe away my tears and hear my prayers

And tell me even losing, I can win.

Always he downed the dragons that I feared.

And now we set another little ship asail:

See how proudly she dances on the waves,

So clean and pure and joyful in the sun!

Can we ready her for stormy days?

Will we set her course a steady one,

Teach her to move in faith through deep distress,

To weather the bitterness that loss may bring,

The battering blows, the dreadful calms ahead?

Pray she learn the serenity of Spring--

Courage to ride the many storms of life--

To ride them out alone, if such need be.

And pray that she find shelter when she needs it most,

In some tranquil, unknown port of sea.

The sun is sliding down the sky,

Hiding a while behind the sheltering trees

That cover the nursery window.

Sunlight frolics through the leaves

And dances like music in the tiny room,

Dappling the crib in a strobing brightness,

Tracing trembling patterns on the wall.

Our little one follows with wondering eyes

The beautiful play of shadow and light

And smiles -- remembering Heaven?

Let it go, dear friend, let it go.

You are not alone in your grief.

Sit down with me here, on the river bank.

Rest a while by the cool and purling water,

And listen how the river sings to us.

Let someone else hold the world together.

Let others shout, and stomp, and pound on doors

While we lie back and lose ourselves in the clouds.

Like the flight of the winged samara,

Life should be carefree, without design,

A glorious dance in the wind. And nothing more.

It would be simpler, less of a hurting thing,

If we were never to reach out--

To live without purpose, or direction, or love.

How merrily the samara waltzes through the air,

Whirling and twisting as it blows along,

Tossed about capriciously

Until, with the dying of the breeze,

It falls, fluttering, to the ground--

On a hillside, perhaps, or in a meadow,

Alone--yet not alone.

That would be nice, would it not,

To end the journey so quietly,

To let the warm forgiving earth

Cover us over and fold us in,

To sleep and dream

Until we waken to another springtime

And new beginnings.

Dream if you must of waves rolling high

And a rollicking dolphin to follow,

When the spray in the air and the seagull's cry

Drift through the leaves in the hollow.

Though a dream may be light as a fluted trill,

It may shape the life and bend the will

Tickling the mind like a feathered quill

To follow the wild waves' plea.

Shadow submerged in the shadow of land,

Down through the moonlight, down to the sea--

Footprint in sweetgrass and shimmering sand,

And merry the waves in their glee.

The night wind's a demon with loneliness in it,

Searching till moon-tide flows into dawn.

Lovely as morning, the fluttering linnet,

Sun rising warm on nuzzling fawn.

When the dream calls to lure you from hearth and from spinet,

Why wander, my darling? Our love is a sea

Beginning and ending in mystery.

Our love is a rain forest, dim and free,

And joy leaping high as the loblolly pine--

And its rivers of sadness are tears in the sea.

(Sorrow and laughter, God's living wine,

Drink thou from my cup, as I drink from thine.)

Heaven and hell?

I knew them well!

And in between

On the glassy green,

The doldrums cast their spell.

I helped a few

--And hurt some, too.

Weather-torn,

With rigging worn,

I won and lost and grew.

I lived with pain

Like a hurricane,

And loved life so--

But let it go,

And sailed from the traveled lane.

When he returned from combat unharmed,

I was so thankful-

The same loving guy,

But tense, somehow,

Like a wire wound too tight:

So quick to react,

His face angry and cold.

No more impetuous "boo" games now,

No more springing on him, laughing,

From a hidden place...

"Don't do that honey! Never do that!"

There it was again-

Something in him, surfacing,

...En garde tactics, swift and deadly

As the cutting edge of steel...

Something threatening the innate sweetness

In his nature.

I tried to understand,

But sometimes I forgot,

Until that incident

In the shadow of the church-

Quick steps in the darkness,

A long arm grabbing me,

Derisive words hissing in my ear...

A crazy, silly giggle...

And the smell of death in the wind.

Breaking free, I ran,

Pounding on the locked door of the church

Until it opened...

Yes, oh yes, my darling,

Now I understand!

I can hear them still-

Those footsteps, so purposeful,

Coming up behind me.

Yes, you are beautiful, my dear,

And charming, too. But you have no drive!

You don't grab hold of things at all.

And never do you listen

To my clear and orderly instructions.

I've even tried to rearrange your mechanism,

To adjust the many parts

So they would run more smooth.

But you are built in such a way

You can't be fixed.

I simply cannot work with anything so scrambled:

There are even pieces missing altogether!

Sorry, honey. Put your own self back together,

Now I've taken you apart.

How do you survive at all my darling,

Floating along like a bubble in the sky?

Why didn't you tell me you were fashioned

From odds and ends and bits of dreams?

Then I'd have long ago been on my way.

Today I love you far too much to leave.

That elusive strain of music in you

Sings to me with such a sweetness

That I am trapped, dear heart,

In this slippery pit of constant frustration.