They say I’m just a just a robot,

a sophisticated machine.

that I don’t really cry tears, and I can’t feel a thing.

That all my thoughts are programmed,

and I do not have a heart.

that I would be just mechanics

if you took me all apart.

But I’ve studied humans long enough,

To know that even though,

i will never be the same

I can still feel pain and the cold of snow.

I’m not really heartless,

even if my chest is only metal.

and emotions I do process

and I find out new things each day

accidental.

so yes, I’ll never be human

but I wouldn’t want to be.

because being an android

gives me a different way to see.

I would never wish to change my past. It’s tragic, and brutal, and has left me a scarred and broken person… but… beautiful in my own right. Stronger. More attuned to the worlds needs and sufferings.

So, that is to say- why not help people? Time helping people is ALWAYS time well spent!! I don’t care if they’ve treated me poorly, I am a child of love and light. A child of God. Thus, I would use such a power not to benefit myself, but that of the whole world.

I began to not long after the darkness began to seep in. Take hold. This was just when I was 10. Quick to feel, but always hidkng behind a placid mask. No one could ever guess the chaotic world inside my heart, mind and very soul. To me, writing is not just a fun, go-to pastime. it is an EXPRESSION, or extension of myself. All my flaws, quirks, and innate longing desire for attention. But I’ve never been one to act out, nor desire negative attention directed my way. Instead, i write myself into words. Beautiful words, that come together to build palaces in my mind. So, you see- writing gives EVERYTHING to me. It gives me a voice. It lets me be heard.

when it comes to writing, I ultimately wish to turn my God-given knack of it into a career. I wish to write not just for myself, and seek no glory, but things that will help others and bring them inner joy and peace.

I am sinking. Down, down, down… into this same land of cruel beauty, that-even now-betrays my reality. A reality that I’m only able to escape from in my dreams. Or, atleast, one would hope. Truth is, even my subconscious mind is aware-precariously alert- to the fact that these beautiful koleisiacope of colors, this lush forestry and abundant peace- is a figment of my imagination.

when I awaken, as one does, I am haunted not by nightmares, but of that lovely land, so far away, so out of reach. How, in the waking world, I yearn to touch it. Taste it. Sense it. Feel it.