The racing in my brain

Never slows, never stops

It rushed like a highway with twists turns and loud noises

The prospect of that highway coming to a stop

Is terrifying

Every morning is the same

The rush

A pill

Some traffic

Traffic slows the rush but does not stop it

It’s always there

My thoughts are scattered and my focus impaired

Emotions are stronger and hiding them becomes more and more difficult to do

School is hell

Trying to hear the lesson or do that assignment is made so much harder due to those cars

Ever driving through my brain

Stopping from memory to memory

And sometimes a car stops

At a memory I don’t want to relive

Those horrible thoughts and memories replayed over and over until I’m feel like I’m going to explode

But on the outside all you see is the tap tap tapping of my pencil on the desk

She just needs to try

She’s just lazy

She’s just stupid

They act like I can’t hear the hurtful things they utter from their lips

I want to cry out and tell them

My adhd does not make me stupid!

But I don’t

I stay quiet

That rush of cars when focused on one thing can make something beautiful

A song, drawing, dance, or poem can bloom from the organized chaos

The Chaos of thoughts and feelings

Is always there

Rushing and rushing like a highway

But sometimes a car breaks down and it does stop

And so do I

Because all of my thoughts are too much

That organized chaos that focused on something good is now focused on the pain, hurt, and anxiety

And I can’t get caught up in another thought or memory

And just like that car I breakdown too

Unable to move forward or backwards

There’s nothing else to do but cry