I don't want this to sound like a love poem

This is not a poem about boy meets girl

And happily ever after

This is a poem about boy meets girl

And it's teeth and nails

Angry fighting

Comments aimed at the jugular

Because how dare he say that

And how dare she do this

This is a poem about

A girl so angry and anxious and hurt that she couldn't give anyone a chance

And a boy so depressed and scared that he'd jump on any bandwagon to fit in

This is a poem about them calming and remeeting

And hey maybe he isn't so bad

This is a poem about

Maybe we can be friends

This is a poem about

Now he has to go

This is a poem about

Quick phone calls

Always texting

Jokes sent rapid fire

Staying up late

Getting up early

Hating time differences

This is a poem about

Texts sent during class

Phone calls in passing

Skypes at least once a week

This is a poem about love

The love of siblings

Born with no genetics in common

The love of a friend so close they know every stupid thing each other does

The love of not holding your tongue

The love of a relationship advice

The love of deep secrets

This is a poem about

Coming out to one another

This is a poem about

Summers when he comes home

This is a poem about

Doing shit we hate that the other loves

This is a poem about

Dealing with each others annoying brothers

This is a poem about

Crying together the day he has to go back

Him walking her home

Lingering in front of the yard

Her not wanting to go inside

Him not wanting to walk back to the car

Waiting to take him to the airport

This is a love poem

Just not the kind we usually think of

When most people think of a hero they think Batman, Supergirl, Ironman or things like that. Very few I've ever asked has thought of a real person, and if they did it was a singer, actor, or some other random famous person. But when I think of a hero, I think of you. Clad in leather jackets rather than capes and jeans instead of tights, you are much more of a hero to me than anyone else I've heard of.

The constant love you pour onto me. The way you've stood up for me, even when I didn't want you to. The fact that you know me better than anyone else. How you can see the pain in my eyes before I even realize its there.

You are my hero. Protecting me from all the evil in the world. Not wanting, no not letting me face it alone, as much as I try to. You save me from the things that scare me, from the creeps on the street, to that little voice in my head saying that I'm not worth the effort.

That's why you are more of a hero than Supergirl could ever be. And that's why I'm vinishng these vows with an I do.

The body fell

Collapsed on the ground

Not moving

Another left

One will stay

Eventually

The words stick in my head

Looping on repeat

Over and over

I get stuck on certain things

Phrases and actions playing in my mind

Over and over

So I take up a pen

Scribble down the thoughts that won't leave

Over and over

My dear I used to think the same thing

That I was unloveable

That I was broken

My sweet I used to have the same fears

That I wouldn't ever find "my people"

That I would forever be stuck alone

My love I used to think horrible things

That the people who tried didn't really care

That I was someone who didn't deserve kindness

My little one I want you to know

That you are loveable

That you are perfect just the way that you are

That you will find the people you love

That you are never alone

That the world cares for you so deeply

That if you show kindness than you deserve it right back

Exhaustion set into bones

Frowns a permanant fixture on faces

Eyes harden into pointed glares

Noses twitch in disgust

Bodies turn away, away, away

Joy has fled

Smiles slipping away into the unknown

Bright eyes darken

Crinkled noses lift up

Welcome to the Land of Better Than

Better than resting

Or grinning

God forbid a kind look is spared

Than contorted faces

Better than everything, one, around them

I was running.

Terrified.

Heart slamming.

Petrified.

Feet flying.

Horrified.

Arms pumping.

Paniked.

It was coming.

Bold.

Teeth gnawing.

Grinning.

Limbs flinging.

Laughing.

Mouth drooling.

Joyous.

It was monsterous.

Oozing.

Endlessly tall.

Pointed.

Sharpened edges.

Sadistic.

Chasing me.

Unknown.

I stretched my fingers out. Grasping for something to hold onto, for someone to pull me up and out of the water in which I was currently drowning in.

I waved my arm around, desperate to get someone, anyone, to notice that I was going under.

My nails clawed against something hard. A rock or maybe a metal bouy. I closed my fingers around the edge, trying to summon the strength. I pulled, hard, yanking my body from the icy water that had surrounded me for so long.

I lay flat on whatever piece of land that I had discovered. Coughing out the water that had made it's way into my lungs. People around me stared. They had seen me.

"A thousand of us couldn't have pulled you from those waves. You needed to save yourself."

I wanted to hate them, but I couldn't disagree. The ocean had been of my own minds creation, it was only fair that no one else drown in it trying to save me. I just had to keep believing that land was within reach.

Mirrors used to terrify me. Seeing what I thought was a horrifying creature reflected back at me was enough to make me sick. So I avoided them at all costs, and when I couldn't I dropped my head low, eyes stuck on the floor.

The Doctor told me that I was not the freak that I thought myself to be. That many people felt this way. That they thought that they were ugly too. I told the Doctor that I didn't just think I was ugly but, that I was worthless.

We talked. Hour after hour. Day after day. The Doctor gave me pills. Things that make serotonin in my brain, balancing me out. They helped, or at the very least gave me the energy that made seeing the Doctor easier.

I've been seeing the Doctor for years now. Less often lately. They like to give me homework. This week's was to buy a mirror.

I haven't seen what I really look like, in more then a passing glance, since I started the Doctor's pills. I had the mirror delivered.

I stood in front of it, eyes closed as hard as possible, until my legs were soar. When I thought about what I was going to look like, I was terrified. The Doctor and I had agreed that dieting wasn't helping right now and that if I wanted to, we could talk about it again later. I haven't known how many calories I've eaten a day in months. I was sure that I was even more disgusting than when I started seeing Doctor.

I opened my eyes. The person in the mirror looked like me excpet, better. They didn't have bones poking through the skin, making my shape bumpy and uneven. They were standing, holding themself up without the world swaying with every step. They were holding their head up.

The person in the mirror was what I had always wanted to be. Beautiful. Strong. I was proud of the person in the mirror. I was proud of myself.