Dead.

He was hit by a car on the way home

Oh well seems to happen all the time.

I see him wondering in the darkness,

calling out to anyone,

anything.

Hello,

 I say,

making my prescience known.

who are you and where am I,

he paused,

My wife and kids are they okay.

I like this version of you,

I thought,

before thinking of an answer.

Your family is fine,

You have been racking up quite the experiences,

I say with a smile.

You are almost there,

my child.

It's funny to see him confused,

every time is the same,

same reaction.

Where am I,

what is this place,

he is defiantly confused.

You are just outside your universe,

well the one I have created for you,

I laugh he is even more confused.

What now,

he says,

quite scared.

I thought,

I will send you back to ancient Rome as a slave girl,

wish eyes widened.

What!?

he exclaimed.

I sighed,

I thought it was obvious,

You are being reincarnated, i say.

he thought,

well then,

 are you a god?

I laughed,

I guess you could say that,

I come from a place very different than yours,

we are all "Gods" there.

How come I don't remember all this every time,

he says,

and I think.

Every time you lose your memory but,

If you stay here long enough you will remember all,

but that is just a waste of time.

He is still confused,

I sigh,

don't you get it, you are everyone.

His eyes go wide,

I am everyone,

he asks.

I roll my eyes,

yes,

everyone on your earth is a variation of you.

He smiles,

So I am Martin Luther King Jr.,

yes, I say.

he frowns,

So I am Hitler,

again yes, I say.

It gets quite,

every time he says this,

still is funny to me.

He looks up,

why,

he says. 

I smile,

my favorite part,

every time.

I created this world to give you many experiences one man cannot acquire himself. By making you a family man you learn to love. By making you Martin Luther King Jr. you learn to lead. By making you Hitler you learn that actions can bring so much pain to others. And lastly, making you that slave girl will humble you. Every life I give you comes with a lesson. Every time you die you are reborn. You are a child and I am neutering you so you can become something great.

He sat in awe, when will it all stop? I smiled, it stops when you want it all to stop and when you are ready. It got quite, all was reveled. Time to go.

We have all heard the story of Adam and Eve, and how God said " Let there be light" And there was light. Or maybe even how the Greeks believed how there was chaos and somehow Gaea, the earth, was born. However, what if I told you a different tale. One of fear and courage, of love and hatred. 

It all started with darkness, there was nothing. Nothing you ever do will let you see how dark it was. For millions and millions of years there was nothing in this darkness, it was quiet. But one day there was a girl, her name was Maeve. I will even let you on in a little secret, that was me.

I was alone for many years, wondering in the darkness. I saw no one and nothing. It was very lonely. All I did was walk, looking for someone, or something. But there was nothing. 

But then, one day, there was something. A little glint of light that looked as if it was going to be blown out at any second. It was the one thing the darkness hadn't devoured. I took that light and I expanded it, made it so it over took the darkness. 

Inside the light, there where many worlds. I did not know what I saw doing at the time but I created a whole galaxy. 

I took favor to one of the little planets, it was rather new looking and quite nice. So I created man. I made him so he could love, trust, and so much more. Man was perfect.   Yet, I saw the Man was lonely, like I was so many years ago. So I created a Woman to keep the Man company. 

But doing all of this.. it used so much energy and I gave up some of my spirit, my life so others could live. I fell asleep for many, many years trying to recover. I entrusted my creations to do good in their world and cherish it.

But when I woke up, I realized all the darkness hadn't gone away. Just because I brought back the light, doesn't mean the darkness faded away. The people I created ruined this world I gave them. They value money over another's life. They are not the kind, good  people I left many years ago..

So I have decided to use the rest of my life force to close the light that I have opened. I abandoned them and they strayed for their path. I will close of the light and wipe everything clean. In hope, that maybe, another little girl will wake up in that darkness I experienced so long ago. 

Please..

Please take me away

Please take me with you

Please take us away.

But I can't..

I can't go away

I can't go against my father

I can't have you.

But I need you..

I need your heart

I need your touch

I need your body.

But its forbidden..

It's forbidden for me to have you

It's forbidden for me to want you

It's forbidden for me to need you.

But I don't care..

I don't care what they say

I don't care what they think

I don't care about them.

But they control us..

They control our lives

They control our thoughts

They control our actions.

But this is love..

And you are mine

And I am yours

We are for eachother.

Fuck their rules

Fuck what they say

Fuck everything and everyone

Fuck the world.

What matters is us

Let's run away

To a place far away

Where they will never find us.

I know you love me

You've said it over and over

You wish things were different

You say you can't lose me

So prove it..

The choice is yours

Take a chance on me

Take a chance on us...

I want you..

I want your lips

I want your kisses

I want your touch.

I need you..

I need your touch

I need your love

I need your body.

You are wrong..

You are dangerous

You are a bad boy

You are forbidden.

But..

But still I want you

But still I need you

But still I think of you.

I imagine you..

I imagine you kissing me

I imagine you feeling me

I imagine you needing me.

You've changed me..

I used to be pure

I used to be God's little girl

I used to be the perfect child.

But now..

But now I wanna forget

But now I don't wanna behave

But now I wanna pick up the pace.

I'm wrapped around your finger

I'm probably just another fling

I'm just gonna have to have faith

Just take me away.

Everything still

All calm

Warm water

Full of bubbles.

Music echoes

Sent of roses

Surrounded in water

Breathing slows.

Eyes closed

Fully submerged

Mind wanders

Quiet.

Thoughts drift

Memories

Mistakes

Scared.

Breathing speeds up

Mind wanders further

More memories

Realizing moments.

Panic

Bad memories

Death

Pain.

Screaming

Waves form

Eyes open

Heart races.

Water drains

Tears fall

Cold air

Shivering.

Warm blankets

Soft bed

Lights off

More tears.

Too much

Too many memories

Too many mistakes

Too much to remember.

She puts on a smile for all to see,

She hides the truth all too well,

She hides herself, waiting to break free,

To break the walls of her shell..

No one knows the way she feels,

For her voice is all too weak,

What's inside she may never reveal,

For what she feels, she may never speak..

She acts all tough,

But inside she is falling apart,

As her life is all too rough,

For the most damage takes place in her heart..

All too many times she has been hurt,

Now none shall gain her trust,

She is now the outcast.. the introvert,

Everything she cares about is crumbling to dust..

She is not the little girl she once was,

She learned that everything isn't as it seems,

It wasn't possible to just hit pause,Everything is falling apart at the seams..

See..

I don't want to see anything

I close my eye tight

I don't want to see him swing

I don't want be apart of this fight.

Hear...

I hear so much screaming

I try and block it out but I still listen

I pray to god I'm dreaming

I've turned this closet into a prison.

Feel..

I feel scared, sad, angry and more

I can only run and hide

I've made peace behind this door

I can't say I haven't tried.

Silence..

Finally all is quiet

Another day comes to an end

I have to open the door and try it

This isn't all just pretend.

....

It's different then before..

Blood litters the floors..

Broken glass lays everywhere..

It was another fight with his wife...

This time it was about his "whore"..

This is what he's been asking for..

My parents are truly a horrible pair..

But it's all just another day in my life...

Family. Friends. Brothers and sisters. Mother and father. All of them, gone. All gone because of the council. They think whatever they want is the Law. That whatever they says goes.

Here there is no trial. No way to see if you are innocent. No way to help you. If the council thinks you are guilty then you are the one blamed. There is no way to be saved. There is no one to help you. Or in this case, there is no one to help me.

All I can do is write this small journal entry for someone to find. Maybe this will be lost or throw away. Maybe it won't be read for years after I'm gone. But someone needs to know how everything happened. What it is actually like to be the one blamed for a crime that you never committed.

It doesn't happen how the council says it does. They say that the "traitor" is removed from their home and is taken to the council for a fair trial to see if they are guilty and what their punishment is to be. Well that's all lies, all of it. Here is what really happens.

I was sitting at the dinner table with my mother, father, two sisters, three brothers, and my closest friend. Abruptly the front door was kicked down and troops poured into my living room. The head of the council walked in and claimed, "Huntsen Walker is here by pronounced a traitor for the murder of a fellow council member. He is to come with us so we can prepare him for the death sentence."

I remember everything after that seemed like it happened in slow motion. First my mother stood up and started yelling at them. The head of council slapped her and all hell broke loose. My father tackled the head of council, then after him my brothers and friend started fighting back. My sisters went to help mother, while I was froze in fear.

My father, brothers and friend were thrown on the floor next to my mother and sisters, guns pointed to their heads. "He was with us all day, it isn't possible!" my mother shouted. "He has the right to a trial in front of the council!" My brother older yelled.

The head of council ignored my family's pleads and whispered something to one of the troops before exiting the house. Every troop had a gun pointed at my family's head. All of a sudden, without any warning, they all pulled the trigger. All at once my family and closest friend fell to the ground. Dead. I was pulled out of the house, unable to move or fight back. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed.

That brings you to now. Me writing a letter to you, the reader, whoever you are. I have heard the men guarding my cell talk about how I am to die. They say how the council wants to make an example out of me. They want to show that not even a 16 year old boy can escape the "Law".

They say I am to be thrown in the Arena with the city's "Beast". Usually hundreds of people come to watch. None of them would stop to help. They just cheer like it's some kind of sport. The only time I've ever gone to one is when it was mandatory to go. That rarely ever happens but it happened when I was a small boy. For years I had nightmares about that beast. I have no doubt this is going to be mandatory.

I hear people coming so I think this will be the end for me. At least I will be with family. I never got that fair trial we were all told people got. I never got to say goodbye to my family before they were killed. So many things I didn't get to do before I was blamed.

~Huntsen