No one knows about it.

It pulses, tightens, and dries.

It scares, belittles, and roots doubt.

Don’t say its name- can’t explain it.

No one understands it.

A few unfortunate experience it.

Like a flash of wind it can fly away

But always comes back-

Back to bring the sleepless nights,

The wakes of panic,

The thick torture-

That stuns you like a bullet between the eyes.

It is my cross- my pulsing, hidden, unexplainable cross.

Maybe one day it will be chopped and burned away-

But for now I have no choice

But to rides the waves with the masked intruder.

I am in the red waves

following the intoxicating beat

floating- masked as a twinkling star

mixed between the tusks of warm lacy strings

and the loud, happy smell,

filling my restless stomach

with the breath of ocean.