Suicide

     Schmuicide

Know one ever no's

When the signs tell us one

     We try not to show

Hindsight is clear

     Obvious

Can't you tell?

The marks are so bright

     Who is there can spell?

So plugged in we're

     Unraveling

Imagination has gone gossip

Centered on appeal

     Isn't that sick?

Decided not in 2nd

     Every beat in dark

Previous friends notice

Blown off as a fault,

     Phase, feelings

     Pass

A first frights friends

     Mindful now

Blurring tears remake

     Ignorance on two

Now second passes

     Why still no say?

     Hindsight is quite clear

No one knows one

     Signals brushed like dust

Line thrown away

Fights free

     Suicide

The white clouds dance beyond skylines,

   Throw form to unsheltered flowers.

Trying to follow strange, strict guidelines,

   Wringing minds for ink-filled powers.

Throwing form to unsheltered flowers,

   Rains slip down on electronic pages.

Wringing minds for ink-filled powers,

   A steady hand files for classmate gauges.

Rains slip down on electronic pages,

   While birdsong flits by on moonlight.

A steady hand files for classmate gauges,

   Till layers of poetry glance and fight.

While birdsong flits by on moonlight,

   Trying to follow strange, strict guidelines

Till layers of poetry glance and fight,

   The white clouds dance beyond skylines.

"Have you been

in love?" The question whispered

through the headphones to four sets

of waiting ears.

                          A new-found oil well

sprung up inside me, drowning all else

while igniting on the sockets

of my lightning dreams. Blazing,

burning thoughts as tidal waves descended,

the motions of my heart. Surroundings coated

in darkness as I blindly scrambled

for words to express my silver soul

screams. How could one say of the hurricane

madness, the sunset retreat, the brilliant star

explosions that has all gone unseen. Silent nights

play in my head, melodic

touches, and sunlight

laughter. Killer dreams,

color raised across skin,

and midnight fails come back again. 

                                                           Breathing,

empty buzzing in my ears. I reply;

and "What is it like?" comes across

in kind. How to elaborate, beyond

words, souls connection.

"Deep."

Never enough

to know. All I can say.

Something is missing

Something’s not right

Something is wrong with me

And I want to fight

It’s not pain or loss

Not stress or fear

In fact, the lack of

May be here

For most see one

But I know two

Reasons for the lines

Shining on the few

The hole inside me

Calls out from the grave

With the craving so stark

It’s hard to behave

Only a select know

How this story will go

Not fire-burned fate

But barren slates

She buried her sorrows in books

      and stories

Got drunk on ink

      and midnight poems

She ran away from the places

      in her head

Because only the words helped her

      heal again

I was a sail on a ship at sea

Catching the wind

And every breeze

Soft ones that didn't even move me

Steady one that blew on and on

Moving me forward

Yes, even the strong ones

That tore at my strength

Breaking my mast in two

But it was the still days that followed

When no movement was to be had

No motion upon the waves

That my masts were repaired

And I began

To catch the breeze again

Heaven and Hell

Aren't so far away

When peace is temptation

Deep inside your head

Angels and Devils

Aren't so far apart

When smiles seem sin

From within your chest

Silence is torture

So on my first star

I wonder a wish

Fight or flight I dread

Meaning is madness

And on my last thought

What wish a wonder

Heaven my Hell

                            my best

Out here by the looking post, 

Where no one need know I go, 

I’ll sit and quiet 

My minds dull clatter, 

’Till the soul moves my heart’s beat. 

I long for a voice to slip silently in 

My thoughts, replace and 

Stir that content deep within. 

It’s out here, where norms don’t matter, 

Silence is the only music wished. 

To hear the sounds of 

A big whisper within. 

Here at my listening post

No one need know I am. 

Everyone knows the beginning. God; being. Everyone knows the salvation. Jesus; grace.

But before the Son, was the Sinner. Yet no one knows that the Sinner was the first Son, the Prodigal.

Jesus was tempted like we are. Yet he took our punishment with a clean soul. He is Grace.

Lucifer was tempted too. So he understands our pain and brokenness. He is Redemption.

For Father forgives all. It is easy to fight when Grace never sinned. It is easy to argue that Grace can't understand. But Redemption understands. He has anger and hurt and sin.

Our Redemption is coming.