I look up and see a woman in cuffs staring at me intensely. She looks familiar and I remember that she was on the early morning news. They said she had been arrested for some heinous crime and rumour was she was going to be extradited and later executed for the crime. I also remember thinking she looked really cute. Now that she was actually infront of me I think she is absolutely gorgeous and any hangups due to social convention were swiftly overtaken by my curiosity as I proceeded to stare back. Something that I can barely recognise as a smile is on her face. At some point I just knew, she was it. A smile began to form on my face as her's grew. I wonder how her earlobe tastes. How does she smell after a run or straight from the shower? I notice she is panting softly while discreetly rubbing her legs together. I think we were having some very similar thoughts...

Time passes as we stare at each other and with not a word, have the time of our lives. Just then, a terrible realisation comes to mind. My face pales and my smile disappears. She instantly recognises the change and somehow understands. This will be the first and last time we would ever see each other. She knew, I knew and worst of all was that she KNEW that I knew. Her smile grew wider but now hid a deep sadness behind it. Something in me breaks. I don't know what it is but I know it is something important. I remember someone warning me to always build strength, for a time would come when I would need it. Here I was, in the presence of the love of my life, probably of previous lifetimes as well and I lacked the strength to save her. She again somehow just knew and I knew she loved me all the same. That something important inside me broke some more. As they got her up and led her away, a tear escaped her eye but she kept her smile. I broke down and wept.

Another day

With nothing to show for it

The sock still in it's spot

Right in the corner

The resident roach

Still scurries about

Do not even remember

When I last took a shower

Even my bathroom floor

Is dry as a bone

Is this how life should be lived?

What's that saying?

Light a fire

Under one's ass

Maybe that's what I need

Set it all on fire

At the very least,

I will have less shit around

Maybe when I come out

The other side of the flames

I shall be scarred but clean

Dear Reader,

I wish I could tell you that you're going to survive this. The letter you just opened was filled with a heinous monstrosity of a fart and sealed. As the stench of beans, onions, eggs, a tinge of garlic all mixed with a spice mix from hell continues to waft in the air, I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I made the mistake of making friends with Neanderthals who threatened me with farts of their own if I did not perform this prank. I was terrified because they seem to have stomachs of steel, able to digest even the most unpalatable cuisine. If what they ate smelled bad going in, I shudder to witness the smell of it going out. Again I ask your forgiveness for this erroneous violation of your person. I truly hope you will someday regain your faith in humanity as well as your olfactory capabilities and once again be up to smelling the flowers.

Yours Regretfully,

Stinky.