Unforgiving life;

Wretched breath stolen from me:

Cry into the void.

Lest not grow, we do.

Folks abound don't want us aged:

Yet, we must learn on.

What have we all learned?

From hence the pain of truth soars:

Our wonder years, gone.

Get up. Work. Repeat.

Death easy, yet we need sleep.

Age is a number.

Peace at last, they say.

Wretched unforgiving life?

Breath, stolen from me.

Look at the sheep

Look where they flock

They go where the dog pushes them

They do as they're told

They go where they're showed

Baa baa

Look at the horse

See how they sweat

Brow beaten in heat

They work till they're naught but meat

Neigh neigh

Look at the ground

Beaten to dust

Footsteps galore

But nowhere to wander

It stirs in the gusts

It settles in the sea

Boo hoo

Look at the critters

Look at them, prey

The work animals we've broken

Do as they're told

Go where they're told

The earth they till

The food they mill

Placed on our tables, we thank each other for our hard work

The sheep we keep

The horses we beat

Our sheeple. Our sheeple.

Nay, nay.

Our slaves of people.

Darkness. Breathe in. Air is thick, heavy. Harsh. Blurred vision from the ultimate black night, no moon. No stars. No light. A moment left the shuddering effect in the tail end of the real world. But what of us? What of us.

Sunlight. Seek it out. Feel the heat, the striking rays lighting up that black darkness. Breathe it in, the lifted heaviness freeing the soul. Of us, we are free. Free, but not to be anything other than what we already are.

Take a moment. The moment. Blink into the shining star. Smell the air, the spring filled scents of flowers and fresh dirt adrift. Hear the wind, the rustles of leaves and trees and bees buzzing. Flapping wings. And singing birds.

It is all that much more absurd.

When we walk, we do the talk. When we talk, we fail to walk. For one and another, we fail each other. We beat the day, we plead for night. Take the pole and strike.

Drag the blade, draw the blood.

Never know how much is fogged.

Useless felt, never better,

Here it is, finely scattered:

From one and all, to none it is;

I really can’t feel this.

A moment’s notice inside the heart,

What gives the emotional unstart.

Cuz I drag the blade across the wrist,

The drawn hot blood dribbles adrift.

Unknown, not cared, who knows:

Not here.

Feeling as such is not that weird,

For I live with it numb.

Never to feel the rising sun.

Sinless pride and witless lies,

What else to do, but cry.

My ma, she used to tell me:

You can go there,

You can do that,

But when you're in my house;

You can't be like that.

Believe like that.

See like that.

Dream like that.

I was just a young girl,

Dreaming of a day when

Imma rule the world.

There wasn't much for me

To do in a home controlled

By one you knew.

You aren't the only one here

To see the real just as clear

I wanted just one thing.

I never got it.

Never sougt it.

Never bought it as I grew up

I knew the rest wasn't fiar

From the way you treated me

Treated me. Treated me.

Can't believe you needed me...

Don't be like that

She said

Can't dream like that

She cried

Don't see like that

She whined

Can't believe like that

She lied.

Oh but I did.

I grasped the edge and pulled above

See for once I was not unloved.

Won't be like that, I swear.

I'll let my children free themselves.

To be themselves.

Love themselves.

I'll guide them on,

To be the one for them

No matter what goes wrong.

See:

My ma, she used to tell me:

You can go there,

You can do that,

But where you're with me

You have to be like me.

See the world like me.

Do the things I do, or

You won't be my kid no more.

No more.

You can't be like that.

Believe like that.

See like that.

Dream like that.

Needed me. She treated me,

Needed me. She lied to me,

Needed me. She betrayed me...

Didn't need me.

Just used me.

My image of her that I had:

Is no longer there.

Isn't that sad?

Go on.

Dream like ... be like ... see like ...

Believe like ... I will go on.

I only need myself.

And no one else.

We have amber fields of grain

We have corn that grows so tall

We have rice fields that love the rain

We really do have it all.

While nature blessed us, humans and animals alike, humans have wrought the path.

Destruction we have seen, all, at last, nature is not deceived

The Mother brought upon the earth a death.

Lands a mess, crops dried. Rainfall not felled, trees squelched.

Animals and humans. Animals, us all. Humans lost the battle.

The Mother drew upon the stories, the lies. Mother, what have we done. Mother, where have you left to?

Animals pled, their pleas heard. Answered. Given to humans by them, over and over. Until, at last, one stuck.

It is the time. A crusade of sorts, a revenant to a previous world. A path leading to health, longevity, and safety.

Not for us.

Mother Nature. Are we humans to be saved? The price of theft is death, we made it so in times long past. She knows, she remembers. Our Mother, she cannot be deceived.

For when we rest in general death. Eternal peace is granted to those whose voices were ignored in the aftermath of our planned obsolescence.

Course unavoidable.

Overtness did nothing to aide.

Virtually none left alive.

Intelligence was not heeded.

Death became us in the end.

We rounded up our sins. Mother gave us it to defend.

I can't take this feeling anymore.

This pain. It burns. It yearns for you

No matter what you say

I can't make my hatred sway.

So leave me alone, just go away, never come back

I can't stand the worry in their faces,

the worry in their eyes

that makes me wanna crawl back inside and die

you don't know what I've been through

and I can't tell you

So leave me alone, just go away, never come back

Today

Today, I feel my insides melting, evaporating:

Burning away.

I can't take this feeling anymore

This pain. It burns. It yearns for you

No matter what you say

I can't make my hatred sway

So leave me alone. Go away.

I can't take the pain.

I just wanna wanna die.

Just wanna die from the pain inside.

No, I can't take it back

from the dreams that spiral out of hand.

and I fight for control of my life.

Things seem to be alright for the moment

but I don't see the foreverness in this

don't worry about hurting me

I've hurt too much to care

but I worry about the pain you'll feel

when I push you away for good

I can't take this feeling anymore

This pain. It burns. It yearns for you

no matter what you say

I can't make it go away

I've tried. It won't. And I don't know what to do.

Sadly, I've fallen for you

I got the whole world at my feet

I see things one will never believe

Trying too hard from the start

I got my work cut out for me

These things will only break my heart

I know my feelings

I know my true feelings

I know where I wanna be

and it's with you

and not with me, alone,

standing at the top of the world

I rather be unknown

I rather see sky instead of the globe

I rather fall alseep,

knowing that I'll wake up next to you

I want it now

what my parents had,

what my sister has

I'll be glad if it comes true

You never know,

this thing just might be real

I could never make you deal

with something you never wanted to

But I hope you see

what all this means to me

what I'm hoping it to be

I know my feelings

I know my true feelings

I know where I wanna be

and it's with you

and not with me, alone,

standing at the top of the world

I gotta say

with you with me all the way

it makes my heart burst

my lungs burn

as if I'm dying of thirst

my mind aches

my body shakes

Do you see what you do to me?

If you wanted me to stay away

I told you I'd crawl away

hoping you would change your mind

making up just one last time

I know my feelings

I know my true feelings

I know where I wanna be

and it's with you

and not with me, alone,

standing at the top of the world

There's gotta be,

something you wanna say to me

little words that mean so much

that take away my last breath

making me fall to my death

I know my feelings

I know my true feelings

I know where I wanna be

and it's with you

and not with me, alone,

standing at the top of the world

and it's with you

with me

standing on top of the world

The moment I see words written, I yearn for the touch of a pen, the feel of a keyboard. The longing I yield is so strong, that I cannot take a breath for fear I shall scream. I legit feel this always. I legit think this way most times I look upon the written form of our worlds.

But alas, I have lost my way in the words that sway. I've drowned my dreams with a bottle it seems, but not entirely true. They hold steady, they hold fast upon my reality. My dream of someone out there apperciating my works other than family.

The one who inspired me randomly, the one who gave me the best ideas and thoughts of twists and turns - of which are always the best kinds. The randoms, the lost lingerings of a mind mental enough to comprehend my craziness. Oh yes, he was my true heart of the words. My stepfather was powerful in dropping bombs of plot twists.

All I had to do was explain to him what was going on, or where I was stuck, or what I thought should happen next and he would spring into action with his own reality. His own realm of perspectives I could never touch upon. The bridge of Tarabitha afterall...

He, who gave me such inspiration, has long since past any usefulness outwardlly. Unfortunately, he who shall be honored time and time again, has passed on from thsi realm into a world yet unexplored. Into the realm of the after. The one place I dread of going...

My Garebear, oh how I miss thee. How I want to see your grumpy expressions and hear your jovial expressions. "He can go fuck up a stump." was my personal favorite.

Rest in Grumpiness with my pap'pa. RIG!!!

My inspiration has disappeared with the last breath I watched.

I’ve never felt this way before

I’m on top of the world

I’m over the moon

I live life away, but only with you

There’s a place in my heart that you have control

So now you know

I fell hard, I fell fast

You whipped me away to a place at last

So now you know

I can’t control my reactions no more

With you here, I’m more me than ever before

You changed my memories, you made them better

This pain have, it burns, it yearns... for you.

No matter what you say,

I won’t let you get away

You' stuck with me forever...and a day