It’s getting late, and

time for bed

the clock’s struck past

must rest my head

But day dreams keep me up at night,

and it’s not fear that pains me, but a kind of

blight

IT pains my soul

though I know not how,

or why,

since when

But just now,

a sweet release is setting in

and that’s alright,

alright by me

For the sweetest taste

is that of peace

With drink and friends I'll forget you not

Though I try and try,

I still cannot

Abandon my memories, or let love fade

I still see the darkness, I'm still in

The cave

Hoping seems hopeless,

With lovers and friends

Oh wretched me, have I met my end?

Make peace not war, that's what they say

But when your heart hangs heavy

Where does tranquility lay?

The calmness and quiet of a solitary life

Seem the only mend to the scars left

By the knife

Of love

Do sheep count people to help get to sleep?

Better yet,

Do toes sing of humans at the edge of their feet?

Beasts slumber simply, with minds well at rest

They don't know the pain of the sad, human pest

Paintings for blind men, music for the deaf

It's a pointless endeavour, that's not worth the test

I don't know if sheep count people, to help fall asleep

But I do know

Those meant to count sheep, think of questions like these.

The ebb & flow of time moves ever onward, against our protests, or our perceived best wishes. How easy it is to get stuck in joyous certainty of the past, or in our idealistic vision of the future. But both scenarios leave us petrified. Immobilized, happiness lies out of our grasp, though it is always in arms reach.

Change your thoughts about reality, and you have changed your reality. Life is only as miserable as you believe it to be.

Momento mori.

How profound, the gift of music. Sometimes, I think life exists only to give ears to the beautiful sounds of this Earthly plane.

Oh graceful God, I repent, I no longer can lie

Could you ever forgive man as impious as I?

They say seeing's believing so I looked with my eyes

The senses deceived me! I didn't believe thee!

How senseless, how foolish, you sat in plain sight

Playing my heart strings with acoustic delight!

Love I had felt once, but heard it many times more

From modern down to classical, in so many forms!

Your hymns and your harmonies, your songs, your refrains!

In a world without music, who could bear any pain?

Spring has sprung!

Finally, at long last

And, again,

We can waltz through the fields

With the warmth of the sun

On our backs

#spring #springtime #warmweather

Today is one of those early spring days, which does not yet feel like it, in terms of temperature, but which contains it’s essence nonetheless. On my walk here, to the public library, the wind whispered softly, but with purpose, through the trees, bushes and alleyways along my path.

I am struck by the sensation of an unheard voice, as though there is some kind of message to look out for. The eeriness that overhangs today has both the feeling of sorrow, and somehow, the qualities of childhood.

It is vanishing along with the ink in my pen.

#Today #Spring #Thoughts #Journal

There is a kind of peace I can feel wash over me, a congruency with all of my past, and a connection with all of my memories when I feel myself align with the right path. So hard, to know where you're going in life. These sign's have been my only indication so far.

I feel a release from my anxieties, my worries, my sorrows when I focus myself towards my true purpose. A longing for nature, and a familiar feeling of (or atleast that I've associated with) childhood. A playfulness, when at once, life feels sincere, but not serious.

Music is one of the most assured, simple ways to bring this state of mind about, both in playing and listening. What a beautiful thing to experience. Sometimes I feel as if the cosmos has arranged itself in the form of the human being simply to have an audience and an orchestra.

More satisfying than this however, is to drive one's self towards one's proper goals in life. To strive for what you truly love, and what truly makes life worth living. A double win for those whose proper path is music.

To find your proper path, listen to your senses, watch the way the world presents itself to you. Witness how things truly are, and stop looking for how you want them to be. Quit fighting. When you do, life will give you the opportunities you need, regardless of whether or not you knew you needed them. Besides, life would be awfully boring if things always happened to our accord.

I walked back to the bush today. I love it here. The sound of loneliness is so much kinder than we give credit for. There’s no other place where I can feel so present, which is to say lost in the moment.

It’s here where I can reconnect with my inner child. The sound of the water rushing over the rocks, and the breeze rustling the bushes remind me of what it means to be alive.

I fell in love here, once. It was short lived, but, that never really mattered. It felt real. To feel anything is such a beautiful thing.

As I sit on this rock, where beneath me, the water rushes, I can see the traces of the other visitors. There are bits of garbage left behind, and what looks like the fairly recent remains of a fire, where the school papers that once were left here likely returned to the ether. I have never met these visitors, or if I have it wasn’t here, and so I never knew it. But I don’t mind. I prefer the solitude. Instead, we communicate through our footprints we leave behind.

Connecting with my inner child is not an easy task. It is not enough to simply be alone, as I am in my bedroom. I need also the comfort of the tree’s, the open air, and the smell of the natural world. With these settings, I can take off the mask which I wear in society, or even with friends, nay, even with family. It does not occur to me as a conscious decision to wear the mask, but rather a necessary side effect of socialization. The mask is not bad, but nonetheless, it is refreshing to escape it at times.

Reconnecting with my inner child, is to reconnect with the person who decided to play this game of life. One who knew it worth playing. One who knew that it was all playful. As we grow older, and try to control our external world more and more, we often forget to have fun with the whole process. At least, I know I have.

Perhaps more than anything, I love this spot so, because getting lost here helps me understand, even if only a little bit, what it means to be alive. Of course I can’t tell you, because consciously I do not know. Life cannot be explained, because life isn’t to be put into words, it’s to be lived.