A Mother’s Burden
Before you were born
I could not wait
To hear your cry
To see your face
And now I wish
With all I am
To slow down time
To cause a jam
In the clock that ticks
And ticks
And ticks
But on it ticks
And I try to catch up
But you're moving so quickly
And I can't get enough
Of your smile
Your laugh
And even your tears
I watch through the years
As you grow and you fall
And you ride and I call after you
But you're so far ahead
And I try to catch up
But you're moving so quickly
You've left me behind
As you're supposed to
Just One Step
I haven't known it for a while
But here it is
Familiar
Hated
It makes me see the worst of myself
And believe that's all I am
Diluted
Crushed
It makes me see the worst in him
And hate him for his crimes
His crimes
His crimes of loving me too desperately
Of holding on too tightly
His whole world rests gently in my hands
But the darkness is too much and I crush him
And I die
Because I can't stop it
I can't make it go away
I know the light and I turn away though I wish not to
My neck is sore from trying to see
I can feel it
I could touch it
It's so close
Just one step
But deeper and deeper I walk into the darkness
Tighter I crush him
I just want him to go
To save himself
To save our little girl
To stay away from me
I am darkness
A Mother’s Love
I won't stop you from climbing trees
From playing silly games
But to my soul you hold the key
Both bounded tight, and vast
The world's an ugly place, you see
And though you're greatly loved
Sometimes those whose hearts you keep
Must far away be cast
The moat before and bridge I'll be
Valley and mountain, same
I'll keep you safe and smart and free
Until I breathe my last
PawPaw Gifts
Sometimes it takes a PawPaw
To teach a girl
How she should expect
To be treated
Sometimes it takes a PawPaw
To help a scared young woman
Feel like a safe little girl
Again
Sometimes it takes a PawPaw
To show a new mother
That every single moment
Is a priceless gift
Sometimes it takes a PawPaw
To scare you straight
And love you silly
And let you know you're treasured
Daddy Has
A big, wide smile
To make you feel silly
To make you feel loved
Strong arms
For holding you tight
And picking you up when you fall
Steady hands
That tickle tickle
And wipe away your tears
Old-man knees
Worn from prayer
And paintball
He'll teach you both one day
Daddy has a love
That is deeper
And fuller
Than your most colorful dreams
Mommy Has
Long, soft hair
So you can play in the tent
And feel safe
Big blue eyes
Kind and excited
Firm when you must learn
Ready hands
Small enough to hold
Strong enough to teach
Gentle enough to scold
Calloused knees
To kneel beside you til you sleep
And stay there to pray over you
Sturdy shoulders
Puffed with pride for you
Ready to hold your pain
A big heart
To love you
Unconditionally
Forever
PawPaw
I have your eyes
My daughter has your eyes
Forever I will have a part of you
And she will
And her children
Will see your eyes
You are strong
It takes strength to live
Your life
To work on top
And on bottom
To miss meals
And accept your wife missing meals
So that your children can eat
To raise six crazy kids
And not raise your voice
To leave work at work
To forgive and care for someone
Who should have always taken care
Of you
To open your doors
Time and time again
To survive great loss
To give in after all those years
And bow in faith to God
You are a rock
You are a firm and steady hand
You are a hero
You are so loved
The Friendship
I know a girl
Who is fearful
And anxious
With herself
But
To me
She is mighty
And wise
And true
Her mind is open
To adventure
And to correction
She is passionate
And vulnerable
For the first time
I have someone
Who is willing to push me
Way past my limits
To my betterment
She cuts herself
To better know my pain
She will cut me, too
She is my friend
My confidant
She understands
She loves
I am so grateful