Lately I've been filling

My lungs up

With so much smoke

That I've forgotten

The taste of fresh air

And maybe I'm hoping

For some kind of revelation

When I finally take in

That crystal clear oxygen;

I've seen on HGTV

That when they flip houses

Into beautiful buildings

They must first destroy;

Gut the insides

Refurbish the remains;

My body is my home

Take my self-destruction

As renovation

And turn me into

Something winsome

I no longer want to be

The skeletal remains of a

Run-down residence

I am sorry that I am both

Your walls and your wrecking ball

Your support and your destruction;

When you fall in love with danger

Someone always ends up hurt

But you,

Did not fall in love with danger;

You fell in love with catastrophe

The twin sister of calamity

modeling skeletal remains of mayhem

Stolen in a holocaust of hearts;

I can not protect you

from my own demolition;

So you hide your affliction

And remind me that

You were never

scared of desolation

Despite knowing your toxic love

Would destroy me;

I drank the poison

And let me tell you

It was delicious;

Every cool sip was worth

The deadly venom coursing

through my azure veins;

You are my grim reaper

Assuage the ache and

make your arms my grave.

My heart races for you

Like the way I race

The initial arrival time

On my phone's gps

Because I can turn

40 minutes into

35 if I really try

And if you see me

On the highway

You'll watch me really fly

Because my heart

soars for you

You are angelic

And despite being

an atheist

I swear this is heaven

The epitome of nirvana

And if you wanna -

I think we we can

create our own world

And I hope that when

you find me

I am no longer the

just the soil of the earth;

I hope that these seeds

I have planted in my body

have finally sprouted

After seeing the light within me;

I hope you fall in love with

the beauty of daisies

Blossoming from inside me

Because I've been working

On bringing life to my

wasteland of introspection;

And I guess that what

I really want to say is that

I hope to be your garden

And when you asked me

How I felt about you

My response wasn't

So poetic because

my feelings for you

were obfuscate

And in time

became abate

The aberration

of our relationship

Though brazen

Was more superfluous

than idyllic

Even with your hands

Around my neck

I'm sure my last

breath would be

an "I love you";

Because the fool in me

Is absolutely mad for

the passion of love

that even when it hurts

its transient bliss

Is enough to make

It worth the ache

And it's not the pleasure

In the pain,

but rather that

I am an entity of

vehemence

And when I'm with you

I can't help but notice

The way you illuminate

The room and the vividness

of your amatory advances

Leaves me stupefied

You are a wonderment

And I'd like to watch you shine

And some days

I can feel the sky

Caving in on me

And I wish for my bones

to disintegrate to dust

Because I can't hold

The weight of the world

So sweep my smut

into the wind

And leave me

Floating freely

I think we should

Take on the role of astronauts;

Explore our celestial bodies

Manifest the rocky worlds

Of your inner planetary system

Set behind the the asteroid belts

You treat as walls

Coaxed by your starry eyes

And the constellations

you wear as limbs

Follow me into

cavernous black holes

Where all time stops;

Let me discover the very

components of your atmosphere;

Take me within your orbit