silence is the most powerful scream

You don't truly know what it's like to be lonely until you're 26 and you wake up at 3 am with no one next to you, except that black cat you adopted to fill some kind of void. Filling a void with work and alcohol and men of all sorts seems like the best idea on the planet, until one day you realize that that void has grown and mainfested into something heartbreaking and bleak. When I finally came to this realization, I cried. I cried until my eyes were blurry and red. I cried until my throat stung and my eyes were raw. I cries until I could feel the bruises form under my eyes and feel the air sting my broken soul. To be lonely in one of the most incomparable feelings in the world. Being lonely in this life is equivalent to using the word almost for everything in your life. We almost made it. He almost loved me. I almost waited. It's the saddest word in the whole world. Reality is hard to swallow when your life is full of almosts and complacencies that never truly worked out.