We became like ice

With our imprints erased

Faceless forms, memories forgotten;

Our lips moved

No vibration within.

Everything before is now not,

As an exhalation into night,

Becomes diffused and lost.

In the grey of time.

Confusion In waves of thought

After noise

After suffering

The skin is shed

Clarity, she arrives.

For moments

Blackness/freedom comes (and embraces)

And for now,

Nothing is important.

Then

Something comes,

Breaks down my walls and form

And the waves come again.

Thoughts like weight,

An albatross around the neck.

Slow pendulation, from A to B, and back again.

Here, there,

And now- nowhere,

In this, the timeless dance.

Forever, we move.

I want to know what it is to live a boring life/ contrast is how we know the light

What am I doing here?

How does this align with what I want out of life?

Yes in that I need to know what it is to work.

Freedom. We are bound by impulse, can we ever be free but to follow these things in different landscapes?

Why is leaving preferable to staying put? Is it just an escape fantasy?

Am I wandering now? Here on serendipity?

Nagasena...Nagasena...Nagasena....

Do my choices make me boring? Is the mindscape black and white? Does it even matter?

And now the snake revolves/and now I uncoil myself again

-----------------

To be alone.

Consume the world

Something I cannot/will not

-----------------

What does that make me in all of this?

I'm sick of this

And now, why is it that I burn

Impulse/freedom/will it ever go away

I'm not very good at fulfilling my objectives

And now, how does this change my mind-scape, the pictures within my head

You're still scared.

Maybe there's lots of things that are good for other people. That are not good for me. I'm not normal.

I see the things that I do. I am not gratified.

I see the things that others do. I want their joy.

Oh shit, I'm think I'm going to puke.

Moment.

Recognition in the mirror. Seeing the form. Studied.

Trembling becomes steel as sense bleeds into the floor.

The creature does what must be done.