Nothing can stop this pain I feel anymore. I cant spend one night without crying, because im not worth being here. My self worth is fading...

I dont like my body, my face my mind, my everything... and I just dont feel like living anymore. I cant take this pain I feel anymore, but why? I made it this far without loving myself...

Is it because i now hate myself? I dont know. And probably dont know till my grave, whether that may be years or weeks from now...

When people see me for the first time, they see a girl with a big smile and too much determination. 

But what they dont see the suicidal scars on my wrist, or blackness of my heart. They dont see that I dont ever want to love again or be loved. They dont understand....

That im not sane

Is it so wrong for me to think that although people say "You have the best parents ever!", I feel dead inside? My family isnt like others.... My family isnt comforting to go home to, or nice to listen to. My mom and dad fight, and my mom says its because it was a mistake that I was ever born. I know what she says is true...

in more ways than one.

I have problems at school too. I am of a Mexican nationality, and a lot of people tease me of that, especially since Trump thought he should "build a wall to solve the problem of immigrants." I get harassed day by day, but I keep it to myself.

Now that school is over, I can finally be free knowing that I may never see them again, and I may move on. But there is still the problem at home to resolve too

End part 1

You are all alone...

Your vision is blurry, and all you can see clearly is a knife....

Covered in blood.

The strong pain coming from your arm goes into your body, and black surrounds you...

A light..... I see... A light...

I try to touch it, but it fades away....

End of part 1

You are dizzy with confusion, nausea, and death. You cant see at all, except for this object. Alll you can see is this one thing: 

A metal object

 Just laying there... with a dent in it, and blood, all around it. YOUR blood

Black swirls around you, until you are on the floor with the metal object

"Shhhhh...." someone ushers you,

"Your pain is done. Rest, my child, rest". They do, but some never wake up.