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FiliaChristi
It’s hard to explain what your mind can’t express.
21 Posts • 31 Followers • 9 Following
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FiliaChristi

Toxic.

You were clean.

Pure.

Sweet.

Now you‘re dirty.

Self-centered.

Mean.

You‘re doing and becoming things that you weren’t created to be.

Did your regretful actions of the past cause you to make more actions you’ll regret even more later?

Who made you like this? Who changed you?

Where are your goals?

Dreams?

Where is your Hope?

Is it in the vapor you suck into your lungs?

Or in the liquor you bought with your hard earned dollars?

Cause trust me, those things always have a price that are more expensive than what your pocket can afford...

Is it in the girls you’re trying to get?

Or the popularity you want to grasp?

Those don‘t define your identity, so why are you acting as if they do?

They arent who you are,

So why are they becoming who you will be?

You aren’t who you used to be. And anymore, that’s not a good thing.

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FiliaChristi

Seconds.

1 Second... You're with me.

2 Seconds... You're leaving.

3 Seconds... I hear you.

4 Seconds... I miss you.

5 Seconds... Where are you?

6 Seconds... I'm crying.

7 Seconds... I'm falling.

8 Seconds... My body jolts.

9 Seconds... I'm staring at the celing.

10 Seconds... I'm shaking, trembling with frozen hands, & hot feet.

Wait... a second...

Was I dreaming?

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FiliaChristi

Tell Me.

What did it feel like?

Leaving me behind?

Was it easy?

As easy as it looked?

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FiliaChristi

Hmm.

Please, can you tell me why I'm here?

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FiliaChristi

No more.

Can’t you see? I’m done with you.

I should’ve been sooner.

I guess that’s one thing you taught me.

To leave before they leave you.

After all, That‘s what you did to me.

But...

I’m not like you.

I don’t ditch when I feel tired.

In fact, I fight harder. Give it everything I have.

I guess that’s how you left me.

You took my energy with you just to recharge your own alter-ego battery.

I say no more!

Its my turn to restore.

You see?

Restoring is like repairing, and fixing up something nearly permanently.

Recharging is reaplying an amount of energy that is constantly temporary.

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FiliaChristi

State of mind.

"Let's hide shall we?" he asked.

"Okay, but where?" she questioned back.

"Our minds, a place only we can go. Let's hide there. After all, no one can find us if we are caught up in deep fragments of nothingness."

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FiliaChristi

Me or You?

Don’t mind me

Don’t mind me, a girl who was in your life and now in your dreams.

A girl who was so much to you and now nothing.

who cared about you more than you did me.

who trusted you with almost everything.

a girl wishing for you back even though you hurt me.

who would do nothing to you while you did too much to me.

Don’t mind you

Don’t mind you, a boy who acted like it was all fine

A boy who just wasted all my time

who made me think the opposite of the truth

who made me realize the real you

a boy who tore my heart in shreds

And didn’t prevent it from happening instead.

Let you go they say.

Let us go?

Well I don’t know.

Am I supposed to think of me

Or supposed to think of you?

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FiliaChristi

Question.

Tell me,

Is who you want to be, what you want to be,

Or...

is it what everyone else wants you to be?

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FiliaChristi

Ending With No Happiness.

At one point, you shut me out.

At this point, I'm shutting our book.

Quitting our story

putting the pencil down

dissembling the sentences

erasing the words

riping out the pages

and tossing it into the flame you once created;

the same fire you let burn out.

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FiliaChristi

Less than 24 hours.

Tomorrow I talk to him.

I️ hear his voice again.

For longer than just a few seconds.

Tomorrow I️ sit in the same room with him.

I️ see him again.

For more than just class or in the hallway.

Tomorrow is the day where the contained fire is going to be touched.

Do I️ want to touch the flame?

Well I️ don’t know.

It’s been constant and slowly fading for a while.

Do I️ want to pour water on it or gasoline?

Will I️ get burned? Or will it heal the pain?

Tomorrow will decide.

Because tomorrow is the last chance to say hello again or forever say...

Goodbye.