I'm not the Buttress:

The daughter of no one.

It feels so wrong,

But I wish I was.

Daughter of jackals

I pray to the son of Set

I am Romulus

I am Remus

Born of the cursed sex

They cut me out of her

And threw me to wolves

It was then I took my first breath

I cried so long

The child gone.

I drowned my parents

In an ocean of my tears

Baggage so I inherit

It was a life filled with fear

With your words, I beg

And pled:

Anubis, let me grow wings

So I can fly away and be free

Of this place

And my parents memory

They haunt me every hour

And in every dream

Swallow me whole, Gaia

So I can be reborn

Full of life, both yellow and green

Digest me, mother earth

So I can be a beautiful dafodil

Or any other flower will do

So I can see the sky

And the warm, beautiful sun

Until the winter comes and I am gone

I look up at the sky

With longing in my heart

I do not know why

But I know I don't belong on this water rock.

Maybe I love water because it reminds me of space

Endless suspension,

Surrounds and cradles the planets in it

Much like a child in the womb.

The universe gave birth to me

So why do I feel so lonely?

Like this isn't right.

It's all wrong.

I just hope it won't be long

Before my time has come

I could be far above the clouds

Away from this place

Wherever I might belong.

Wanted to enter the challenge about fathers, so here we go:

DADDY

He is someone I love more than I like to admit and also the bane to my existence. Most of my problems I can trace back to him. All of my strength comes from him, even though emotionally he is weak. The sheer will to live and survive cannot be fully from my mother. A woman who had a lot in life. Him?Not so much. Opposite really, much like a sad movie with a not so happy ending.

My parents were broken people who should have never been allowed to have children. And yet against all odds, I walk the earth as if death is not my closest and oldest friend. He has always been there since I was conceived. It was barely a normal pregnancy, I was cut from my mother's stomach crying out and I have yet to stop.

I loved my father from the moment I knew what a father was. I always wanted him, but it seems that if I wasn't alone, I was with mom.

He is a jealous man. Who resents the close relationship I (once) had with my mother and not with him. He too was jealous of my blessings. I had a mom who loved me and he did not.

They both loved me. I could never lie and say they didn't. They always made sure to tell me but they always made sure to remain so inconsistent that I had no idea how to function in the real world or socially. He blames her for that. And naturally she blames him.

Growing up I had always thought they were very different people and I couldn't see how they managed to get married. Now I can see why they hate each other so much. When they see the other, they see themselves.

Perhaps this is why I love and hate them both. I see myself in them, it frightens me so.

They were not good examples. They were great examples of who I knew I never wanted to be.

I see me in him and I'm afraid I'll lose myself just as he lost himself to the pain of his hard life. I never want to be so deluded that I believe my own bullshit. That I truly believe I am good, when everyone knows I'm bad.

Fortunately, I've learned to trust myself and my instincts.

A sane person will question their sanity but an insane person will not.

To doubt and to question to is to be self aware. And that is nothing like my father.