It seems the operation 

Was just yesterday 

Time has flown by

And my new body is here to stay 

I’m walking fast and 

All this strength is going to last 

Physically and mentally I’m at 

The highest point I’ve ever been 

I look outside and all I see

Are all these positive things 

Trees,flowers,and all these little animals

Forests and mountains and everything beyond it 

Walking at a fast pace with a smile on my face 

Wow tomorrow morning

Is the day everything will change 

A new body is being delivered 

In pain when I wake up 

But not for long because 

The drugs will take effect

And the pain will subside 

The days will fly by

Recovery is fast 

The pain won’t last 

And nothing hurts anymore 

I feel kinda free 

I’m the kid I was used to be 

The operation is one month away

But I don't know what I'm supposed

To feel or say, is that strange?

Or is it just okay?

When the day arrives I won't know what to say

I will just hope for change and better days

It's been 12 years with its highs and its lows

I never said it was easy, but wow how I've grown

Grown physically, mentally, and spiritually

So many positive things and that I know!

I know it now and I will know it in the future

Bravery is not something that will change

With the weather, it will stay with me forever

Yes this was hard but man am I proud

Of my growth and evolution through

All this bullshit with this evil bitch

You have been by my side on this long journey

You are not an acquaintance, you are part of my family!

I thank you for all you have given me

But it's time to say goodbye

So that I can move on with my futur life

You think that arthritis is something

You can just escape by running far away

A change of scenery but not really

Because the shadow is still there 

Lurking around in the air

This week is the hardest of the month

Cold showers or taking drugs

But none of that works because

I am not the one who holds the power

My shadow has it and he's looking down

At me from a big tall tower

Sorry I forgot that I made up

This imaginary disease in my head

And for what, for fun of course!

Yes because I really love being in pain!

So much pain that I cry sometimes

Actually, I was diagnosed with 

A thing called arthritis 3 years ago

And yes this is not a joke

I'm 18 and I have arthritis

It's great to hardly be able

To do any sport

It's great to fail exams

Because I can't concentrate

Really it's everything I have ever wanted

And yes my pain is all fake

I just invent it all so that you pity me

I invent it on purpose so that I can't

Do the things I love

In a wheelchair today

Some think that's so fun

But it's not, I've still been in a lot of pain

Builders are drilling holes inside my legs

Trying to find a way to let the lava

Seep out of my body

In so much pain

But there's no one to blame

It's just a disease called arthritis

That's breaking my body 

And driving me insane

Dad thinks everything's okay

Because from the outside

I look like a normal 18-year-old

But on the inside, my body is burning

There are invisible bruises on both of my legs

A fire takes control

And won't leave me alone till it hurts me well

I have wings

They are not visible

But they are still very useful

Our wings are these little things

That help us out every day

From medicine to CBD to memory foam cushions to

Our stuffed animal that we keep on hugging

All these things may seem small

But they all help in some way for sure

Some may work better than others

Depending on the person

But don't give up, just keep on searching

You will find that thing  that you can

Count on like it's your twin

Until then keep you're head high 

And keep on fighting

We're chronic pain warriors after all

We're one giant community

We don't all have the exact same thing

But we all know for sure

How this pain is debilitating

To some, my poems may seem sad

But for me, they're my only chance

For people to hopefully understand

That my pain is not something I can control

I can not decide when it comes or when it goes

If it's strong or if it's low

I live it and hide my emotions

So that nobody will notice

When my pain level is a 9 out of 10

And I feel my body caving in

I say everything's fine and

I keep lying because you 

Just get used to it after some time

When my hip gives way

It feels like all the ropes

That are holding my leg together

Suddenly break and then

A giant wave of pain hits

I am underwater, drowning

With nothing to hold on to

With no way to escape