Long ago

In the mud I bloomed

At my worst

There I met you

Grizzly 

& Wild

We were both 

Torn apart 

On the inside 

Where we'd wallow

My eyes

Said you couldn't stop

You looked away 

And we both forgot 

Years went on

Miles we walked

The Fear won 

For its moment 

But we choose 

For how long

We took the long way 

We didn't get Lost

Everyday

I

Swallow pills

To

Kill tears.

Everyday

I

Think of

You

And how

Not

To.

Everyday

I write

You

Something

That

Gets

Trashed

Or

Unheard.

Words

Fail me.

We'd

Need a

Miracle...

Words are

not enough.

In a dream

I have you,

In a dream

You have me,

In a dream

We forgive,

In a dream

We change

And truly live.

In my dream

You came to me,

In my dream

Anger is absent,

In my dream

I feel safe,

In my dream

We start over,

We stay forever...

... But it's only a dream.

#lovedies #poetry #words #pain

The damn broke

Today.

All the hate,

Paused

Today.

I hurt for you.

So much that it

Takes my breath away...

Knowing

I can't be there

For you

Today.

The flood washed away,

Took us,

Took you,

In different ways.

Then,

Away from tears.

Now,

Away from my arms.

Today

I drown myself with

What if's.

Today,

So far from you...

Still I feel

Your heart,

Your pain,

The storm.

I can't even cry 

I've run out of tears

I can't even lie

The love is no longer there

So many dreams  

Now just lost fears

Can't even look at your face 

The lie I see

The lie my heart believed 

The pictures still bleed

The man that wasn't really there

The man I will never truly see

And now we endure 

This lesson 

This scar

New pain I now create 

Just To drown what you gave

Quickly you drift away

#lovedies #poetry #words #pain

Satan- I don’t know why, your all just staring and judging.

God- Maybe nobody likes you... Maybe you're just paranoid ... Maybe it has nothing to do with me ...& I'm just here for the show.

Satan-  I'm different so fuck me I guess?!

God-  I don’t know why any of us do what we do, but we do... Maybe they think they are better than you... Maybe it's all in your head. 

Satan- God, they say you love everyone, what happened to that? Why can't you show me? Do I not deserve better, What is wrong with me?

God- I do my best, maybe you are just too much. I don’t know what’s wrong with you; but your are raising hell all the time. Maybe It's not about getting what you deserve... just about how you play the cards that are dealt to you, & just living your life.

Satan- Everybody hates me, my so-called "savior" that claims to "loves all" has never shown up for me & is always judging my behavior. 

God- Maybe I’m not judging...but being friends with you might ruin my reputation...probably safer to stay unseen. 

Satan- Fine then, don't show up, stay invisible. 

God- Maybe I am here, always here...maybe all I am, is something inside you.

My life escapes me.

My thoughts destroy me.

I give,

I hope,

I believe,

What I thought

We were,

You were.

My heart drenched

In sorrow,

Betrayal,

I'm lost.

Left to

Hide

And run.

I run

And I run

And I run.

Cold glass

Warm seat

Toes numb

The beautiful moon glares at me

Piercing lights from the roads leaving impressions on my zoned stare

Further from where we want to be

But we're almost there

The only reason this is home is cuz your here.

I write how I think

90% feeling

10% logic

Correct me if you'd like

but there is a 100% chance I won't listen

I put it down as it comes out

you read the parts of me I choose to share

Which in tells a dish of terrible spelling with a side of askew grammar

I'm in love with my incorrect me

Love.

Music.

Creating.

Deconstructing something.

Springtime at the beach.

Summer rain.

Laughing so hard it hurts.

Spontaneity.

Sushi on the coast.

Soft lips & citrus breath.

A top shelf Presbyterian with fresh ginger.

Experiencing new places & things with people I love.

Feeling myself evolve.

The rush I get when first get on stage.

Soft tickles before bed.

Singing in a hot shower.

Exploring abandoned places.

Discovering great movies old & new.

Finding "my new favorite thing."

Finishing a song and getting goosebumps.

Open minds spoken and heard.

Comfortable beds that are hard to leave.

Reducing my carbon footprint for Mother.

The bitter sweet taste of revenge.

Forgiving and letting go.

.... Pieces of My Happiness.