Emotionally Bruised

You remind me of the air

No, not air that I need

For you burn my lungs

Because you are a cold winter day;

Your air chills my insides

And makes it hard to breathe

An inhale is a sharp reminder of mortality.

Leaving you behind was a freedom

I no longer needed to live in fear of my shadow.

But I still did,

Because you were my nightmare.

The scale a nagging reminder in my stomach

Because the only thing I could feed on

Was my self-loathing.

You're bitter tea.

Tea that has burned and steeped far too long.

But I love my tea,

"I can't let this bag go to waste."

I should have though

Because I coughed you up

You made me ill.

It's more bittersweet, really

Because everyone who saw me was in awe

"You look wonderful"

"You've lost so much weight"

Not even you knew that I was drowning.

1000 calories consumed, 500 burned.

But of course, I was the embodiment of beauty

Finally.

But, I was never enough

And I hope I never will be.