Telemarketer (Parody to “Trouble Maker” by Olly Murs feat. Flo Rida)

You're a troublemaker

You're a havoc wrecker

You're just one more telemarketer

You had me tricked again to go pick up that phone

Sure woulda left it 'lone if only I had known

But after bein' told I'd been removed from your list

I unwittingly answer then clench my fist

Tell me-Telemarketer

Is this then your game?

I know I've asked you just to cross off my name

So I wanna know

Why does 'no thank you' not seem to suffice?

I've long given trying to be nice

Are you trying to initiate a fight?

If not then stop trying to control my life

Telemarketer

It's like you're always there when I'm trying to clean

When I'm sleeping in my bed or just about to eat

Tell me what is this secret conspiracy?

If it's to bring me to an early grave then please cease

Well now-Telemarketer

Hello once again

You're just in time my dog was needing a friend

Fido here's the phone!

I'm still not going to switch my mortgage, no

My roofs are fine and my insurance is no worse than yours

Don't need to start my dishwasher with my phone

These calls and polls are making my brain sore

Telemarketer

Art thou the widow and I the unjust judge?

That thy persistance should cause me to budge?

Telemarketer

But by all means keep on this calling me

Maybe I'll sing or write you some poetry

Dear Telemarketer

You fill this special place in my life

like the k that begins my knife

or the gh in my sight

or that precious p on my receipt

the s there in my aisle

what would the world do without the u in guile

without the language's extraneous letters

complicated to remember

took a walk brought along my cellphone

only a momement out before I hear the ringtone

Oh, do you know all my numbers?

Is there no way to escape this torture?

Hello again my dear friend Spam-I-Am

I've blocked your number again again and again

Telemarketer

Somehow you find new ways to call me back

Your stalking skills are some I'd pay to have

Telemarketer

I've been unfair to you I understand

You're the friend on whom I can always depend

Telemarketer

Say you want to help me and indeed you can

Your number's what I'll give to random men

Telemarketer