I won’t find love,

You know why?

Because I’ll never open to someone about my life,

Yeah I have crushes and like guys,

But that doesn’t mean I want to give it a try,

I’m a broken human being,

I’ve been thrown down a bridge,

I’ve been shot with many guns,

But I’m still standing here,

The demons I carry,

I won’t want to destroy someone else,

Because people deserve to be happy,

But I know I’m not one of them,

My flaws are many,

My hatred is high,

I can’t stare at myself in the mirror,

Without looking away in disgust,

The scars cover my back,

The scars cover my shoulders,

It may overtake my entire body,

But I’m trying not to be broken,

I’m not talking about cuts,

Neither am talking about punishment,

I’m talking about acne,

And I have a lot of it.

There’s the fatness I sometimes see,

But I don’t pay attention to it,

At least I am not skinny,

Neither am I overweight,

I just wished I was healthy

And no guy wants a cow as his girl,

I push whatever opportunity I have away,

I’ll try to do this until the day I die,

Because I sometimes think about being with someone,

But nothing comes to mind,

I’ve pictured being with some of my crushes,

But I just think to much,

I destroy the thought,

As I know they’ll leave me behind,

Is there someone out there for me?

Please don’t let him fall for me,

He deserves so much more,

While let me get so much little love,

He deserved to be happy with someone with a heart to give,

But not a darkness I don’t want to taint him in,

He deserves to love someone better,

Someone that won’t waste his time on someone so broken,

Because I know he’ll be happier with someone much more lighter,

Let him or her have a beautiful family,

Let him experience love with someone worth loving,

Let him or her have a beautiful life,

Because I know that if he’s with me he won’t survive.

She was perfection when I watched her

From afar,

Watch her pale skin hidden under the baggy clothes,

Watch her swollen lips to get licked every time you looked back at me,

Watch her turn around and claim my lips.

It's a sadness I bury

Tomorrow I'm not going to be steady

It's a love I destroyed

Last year was gone

It's a regret I try to ignore

Now I cry alone.

It's chaotic to read your past story

Bringing the memories and healing scars

Admiring the good and hating the bad

Missing the saviors and fearing the demons

Living with good and surrounded by bad

Loving the close ones and loving the far ones

Be in the middle while there is a war

It's my family but their enemies of their own blood.

Bodies combines

Hearts beating

Hands entwined

Bed creaking

Eyes staring

Legs moving

Lips kissing

Minds losing

Love is an emotion

But I don't want it

Sex is an action

But I can't have it

Blood is a liquid

But I want it

The blade is an item

But I allow it

They screamed my name and laughed for more

Cut ONCE more and well give you love

Their eyes growing and teeth showing

Show US blood and we'll give you home

They kept their torture and I followed along

Remain IN the darkness and you'll be safe

Their bodies growing with anger

Keep DREAMS away from your soul and we'll show you the world

They sharpened their nails and licked their teeth

Now NEVER stop and you'll come to us

Their command making me die.