Feild of wildflowers

bursting in a million colors,

each distinct and beautiful.

Some a dozen tiny blooms in one,

others giant, bold, distinct

all perfumed individualy.

There are weeds here;

poisonous, thorned

choking the life from

all around them,

nigh impossible to killl.

Eventually, the flowers will fade,

petals turning brown,

falling to the dusty earth.

I kill my children.

Slaughter them, butcher them

rip beating hearts from their chests

slice them open and destroy

everything they are.

I take their old, white bones

and rebuilded them;

attach each new ligament

build up muscles from atrophy

cover them with a new, pretty skin.

And they are beautiful.

Grandfather stands in the foyer

Hands perfectly positioned

He stands at dread attention

Precise and orderly always

Never shirking in his task

Grandfather stands in the foyer

Ever present yet forgotten

Stately footsteps never slowing

He stands at dread attention

Voice low and moaning

Silenced only by himself

Grandfather stands in the foyer

We pass our lives beneath his gaze

His servants and his thralls

He stands at dread attention

Void of all humanity

Uncorruptible and unavoidable

Grandfather stands in the foyer

He stands a dread attention.

Say the words enough, and they'll sound right

See I can speak normally

So I won't have to repeat myself

She won't call me a retard agian

Stop flinching when I hear my voice

Surely it will work this time

So say them again and again and again

A dragon stalks my steps

It's rank breath chilling my spine

I try to run from it

Try to jump from its snapping jaws

Try to spin away from it's poisoned claws

But there is no escape.

The monster is inside me

Curled up, slumbering in my gut

Until it thrashes awakes

Wings flapping in my rib cage

Sending bitter black poison up my throat

Whispering

That I will never succeed, never be enough

Shrinking me down

Until I am devoured

From the inside out.

Mired in pain

Trapped in misery

Too tired to move

Just want to sleep

Sleep

Sleep

Wake up

Move mechanically

Until it's too much

Paralyzed

Pain is too much

Begging for an end

Enough

Too much

Please

Stop

Entire body lurching, shaking

Raw throat burning

Eyes watering

Get it all out

'Till there's nothing left

Until I'm hollow

No more pain

No more heaviness

Just exhaustion

And releif

Thank you.

Staring at clouds

Made of paper, ink and glue

Trying to find shapes.

Sometimes you don’t.

Sometimes you spot a shape

But no one else sees it

So you try to convince them;

Sometimes they convince you.

Look away for a moment,

Go about your life,

And when you look back again,

The cloudscape has completely changed.