When I was about to give up

you set me free

driving to nowhere

you guided me

I'm grateful

for the day I met you

You saved my life

I know I'm not eloquent

but words of love need none

I love you my light

I can't listen to the radio

certain songs remind me of you

I can't go to the beach

Memories of us fill my mind

I can't watch certain movies

thinking of you makes me cry

Bittersweet love

painful memories

I want to forget

best worst regret

but I wouldn't give it back

I still think of you

You still fill my dreams

dreams of us being together

now feels like a mirage

Do you still think of me

do you ever wonder about what I'm doing

do you ever want to call me

do you ever dream of me

do you ever remember

do you?

I'm sorry I couldn't stay

I'm sorry I ran away

I'm sorry those three words scared me

I'm sorry

Will, you remember me?

Struggling through the ups and downs

Trying to find meaning

My life in ten words

I'm scared because even the darkness whispers your name

And it resonates with the beating in my chest

I'm scared because just one word, wven though ive heard it countless of times, still makes me shiver

Im scared because you can still inspire me to plop down thick globs of paint with no fear,

Your memories are the ink to which i write

I'm scared because I can still remember you so vividly, your shadow, the way you carry yourself, the energy in the room

I'm scared because my feelings still haven't faded,

like the coffee stain on my shirt.

The proof of my addiction,

the cause of my sleepless nights

The most addictive legal drug

i wish my heart was

still mine to give

and not yours to take

to do with as you wish

i wish i

could wish hurt upon you

like you did when

you carved your name into skin

So I could never forget you

Tattoos can always be erased

But scars will always remain

Even when I start to forget

A curious eye will remind me

i wish i could wish

hurt upon you

like you did when

You filled my head with hot air

I stab my head to let the pressure out

And have to turn my blood into ink

to keep myself sane

the phantom ache in my chest

from the invisible bullet

you shot me with

I have to keep pressing on the wound

just to stop the hemorraging

I’ll never recover

No doctor can fix me

No medicine will take

I can only numb the pain

With your drug

So I guess you've won

Yet again

Whispering your name

Calling out through the silence

Swallowed by the void

I miss you

I wish

I could fade away

Like the water

Running through the river

Memories with me slowly forgotten

I wish

I could fade away

Like the water running through the ocean

My essence slowly separating from my own body

I wish

I could fade away

Like the water running through the lake

Spreading through the calm waters

Will I be always reaching for the memories

Instead of grasping the present laying itself in my hands?

I should’ve let it go

Let what ifs stay what ifs

A beautiful memory

But I tried to hold on to the past

the present saddened me to letting go

The memories all muddled

Another rose I crumpled

Another diamond turned to stone

Another bursted bubble

Another beauty gone

I could’ve turned this flower to a paperweight

And kept it by my side

But my selfishness encompassed me

My ego couldn't hide

I couldn't get out of my own head

Now you're drowning in mine

It's like chocolate without sugar

Coffee without cream

I now know it will never work out

But I still see you in my dreams