Who said it was goodbye?

When I kissed your cheek, watching you get in the car

Who said it was goodbye?

When I watched you drive away, heading to nowhere

Who said it was goodbye?

When I got the call, my girlfriend left for dead

Who said it was goodbye?

With her car in a tree, a faint heartbeat left.

Who said it was goodbye?

When you drew your last breath, unable to stay any longer

It can't be goodbye, because I am no one without you

Because without you, who am I?

You know things about me, that may be true,

But tell me, would you know if I lied to you?

I will give you two truths, the other a lie.

and we will see, if the lie you can find

I live with my sister

I have broken a bone

I love you

Can you guess?

Did you figure it out?

I will give you a hint,

I will never tell you this to your face

I am running from the pain

the pain left from you

you with your sickining sweet smile

and gleaming uncooked eyes

eyes that always made me wonder if you were truly thinking about me

me with the auburn hair, scared to leave your side

me with the freackled nose, scared to see what I'm like without you

me who looks nothing like this, wondering if I would be loved by you if I did

She has those things

She has the aburn hair and the freakled nose

and I have the wonder and the scared

And what to do with that is truly a perdicament

because you have always been in the back of my mind

so what if i let you go?

If i let you go what happens to me?

will I truly thrive on my own?

If I let you go what happens to me?

The pain of the spot that you left, too big,

too strong

to much

you are to much

you were always to much

for me

a me who wanted joy

and got pain instead

A secret I never told you

So much I never said

Do I tell you of the things that scare me?

Do I tell you of the things that I didn't say anything about because,

she was just so good-

and I didn't want my life to taint her.

So lets keep her my little secret,

her joy making me smile

So lets keep her my little secret

my pretty dandelion

Is it just me who cries at your name? begging for you to come back

Is it just me who wants uncondtional love, and doesn't know if they deserve it

Is it just me, who beggs for her to stop, but I can't get her screams out of my head

Is it just me who went home that night, your naked body on hers?

Is it just me who started to cry, while you told me it wasn't what I think

Is it just me who asked you to leave, tears streaming down my face

Is it just me to locked the door crying, sleeping on the floor that night

Is it just me who saw you the next day, that girls lips on yours

and is it just me who died that day, barely able to breath

The monsters under my bed no longer scare me, I fought them long ago and won.

I told them to go away, I couldn't sleep somewhere else anymore, and they did, they left.

I wish someone had told me what the real monsters look like.

The ones that reflect everything you fear onto you.

The one that when your art teacher asks you to draw the inner critic you can't because she looks so similar to you.

The one with blonde hair, who only comes back to see how you will react when she knows you are happy without her.

The one that screams every time you do not do what she pleases, knowing you hate to be on camera

The collages that lean on you, expecting you to be perfect, begging you to do more

be more

say more

And let's not forget about the peers

that judge you from afar, never seeing the real you

And never really wanting to.

A worrier can think about anything and twist it into something worst than it really is.

So I guess my answer is everything is keeping me up.

Leaving the nights longer, and my sleep time shorter

It would tell you of the little girl, scared to leave her room for the monsters looming around, ready to pounce on her at any second.

It would tell you of the bottles that clink in the trash can, and pile up as they are put in.

It would tell you of the woman on her comupter, telling of her lies

and it would tell of the youngest, letting out her cries.

It would tell of a dog, who shook when thunder roared.

It would tell of an old woman, who just wanted to go to sleep.

It would tell of a girl who grew up too quick, no longer little anymore.

It would tell you of that same girl, and her terrible ways she coped

It would tell you of the man, who loved washington more than the 2 little girls

and it would tell of the oldest, begging to be loved for who she is, rainbow and all

Memories are a funny thing, they sneak up on you when you least expect it and can choke you like a lover, begging for your attention.

But the memory that comes to mind for me was in an abandoned building where the smell of lonliness consumed you like a plauge. Showing you how alone the room truely was without the comfort of people.

But for that second it wasn't alone, because she was there. She was there, climbing up on bars while i stood blow her, scared that she would fall.

But for that second it wasn't alone, because I would jump everytime the alarm went off, making her laugh.

But for that second it wasn't alone, while I muttered "If we get caught I am blaming it on you"

and for that moment I wasn't alone because she was there with me

Her smile lighting up the room, even though there were no lights on

Her laugh filling up the room, making me forget someone could walk in

The wall we took paint off of, because it was fun to do.

So for the evening the room forgot it could be alone, and so did I.

Am I someone you toy with?

Someone to use as your voodoo doll?

Portray those feelings onto me, dear

And show me how to truly feel

And let me believe these feelings are my own

And let me believe these feelings are my own

So let me take the pain,

Let me take it all

Because a doormat is good for one thing

To wipe your feet on

- I never should have let you on my property