Alia Scene 3
Ok, so this is how everything changed for me. I went from being a plain, boring woman, to a confused, maybe Witch. Ha "The Old One" would frown at that word.
"I am not a Witch!" She likes to yell. "You shouldn't throw that word around. It could offend someone."
I don't know what is going on around me anymore. I had to quit my job, which wasn't really a bad thing. I just don't like not working, but Helena is a tyrant, so I don't have time to go to a job. More than the job thing though, I moved into the warehouse. I love it here, I spend most of my time in the park, but I have a bed in the back, I later found a "dorm" type room. It's ok, not the same as my place.
I found out there are two other people that live here too. Court, and Paige. I met them at dinner, they seem ok. A huge smile came to my face thinking about Court. He is huge and beautiful, no one would even call him hot. He was at least 6 and a half feet tall, with the face of a warrior angel. He would be called a pretty boy but for the scar that ran down his left cheek, and his "been broken" nose. He’s skin is a wonderful light brown that I would love to touch. At dinner, I stopped and watched him. That man could really eat. Two double meat burgers, a hot dog, and a large plate of fries. All this before my food even cooled down. He had grinned and said" I burn a lot of calories. I have no idea what he did, and at this point, I don't know if I wanted to.
Paige was the one I couldn’t figure out. She seems so shy and didn’t talk at all. Every few minutes I did notice she would look up at me. I caught she staring a few times. I guess she was just nervous to have a stranger sharing her space. At one point I looked over and really look at her. Her skin was so pale like she never went outside at all. The boring brown hair and her head fuzzed out in all directions, the ponytail holder not really about to do its job.
That first night I sat on the steps of the warehouse if you could call them that. They looked like they were older than the building. Looking up at the stars bright in the sky. Every one of them represented another question. Going from one to the next, listing those question. Hoping to come to a question I knew the answer to. After searching through the right side, maybe the left would find an answer.
Why did this happen? Who am I? What am I?" The questions rolled. I have no idea what time it was, and it seemed I wasn’t going to work tomorrow. Helena, or crazy hag lady, said I needed to stay there and learn stuff. She had gone on and on, it was too much to remember. Something about magic, yes real magik. I guessed that after the batshit crazy things that had happened earlier tonight I should believe the woman. My brain doesn't want to process everything as it should. It was jumping between denial and shock. So I started listing the things I did know.
1. Helena could control her mind at will.
2. Magic is real! Should that have been number one?
3. I have no idea why I'm really here.
Looking at the shining balls of gas in the sky. Trying to picture “doing” magic. (Is that how you say it? Do you "do" magic? I'll have to ask Paige. Since I had no real clue what real magic was, it was even harder to accept.)
(Next thing I know) Court is carrying me inside. “What?” I ask trying to understand what is going on. My sleepy mind is thick with fog.
“You fell asleep outside. It isn’t really safe to do that. You should tell me next time.” His body shakes mine with his deep laugh.
“How do I know I'm going to fall asleep? I was asking the stars questions, then I was being lifted to the Moon. “ That comment sent me shaking again. He is going to drop me, I should get down. For some reason, I just want to hold him tighter and rest here awhile. I guess I said so, or he is reading my mind.
“You take all the time you need. I will always be here.” His hold tightened on me.
That night I dreamed of a man, holding me, loving me. In the dream, It wasn't me, but it was. So weird. It was my mind, but not my body.
July 08, 2017
Once again I have lost the desire to write. I guess I can say I don't really want to do anything. All the stuff I normally find fun and exciting, I just lose interest. I'm not sure why this happens, and I really wish it wouldn't. Writing is one of the things I love to do, but even writing this is difficult. I force the words out, one at a time.
Being someone I like.
It is important to me that I am someone I like.
I try to be a good person,
I am honest, most of the time, bluntly so.
I live by my beliefs,
practicing what I preach.
Never taking more than I am given,
and giving more than I get.
Taking care of my own,
putting their needs before my wants.
These are just some of the things I think make a good person.
Not feeling it
I'm just not feeling it today,
But whatever this is
I wish it would just go away.
Pressing down on me,
Life isn't what I want it to be.
I'm stuck here feeling this way,
The world moving around me
Not knowing what to say.
I want to run and hide
Be anywhere but here
Living like this forever is my greatest fear.
#poem
Do-Over
If I could do it all over again, what would I do?
If I changed everything, would I still have you?
I wouldn't know I missed you,
I wouldn't know your touch.
If I got a do-over,
My life would change so much.
Your light would never fill my world,
Brightening my day.
That smile I treasure so much,
Wouldn't help me along the way.
I'm not sure it would be worth it,
No, I think I’ll just have everything stay.
#poem