Monday isn’t the beginning, so I could live without it. Monday represents change for me, it’s like a lie saying it’s the start of the week when it’s not. Monday makes me feel lonely, I feel by myself, even when I’m surrounded by people. I feel isolated, alone, even when I’m a busy bee. Monday makes me feel worthless, let it be gone.

You are the hardest competitor on both ends. You have to compete against yourself to survive or to die. It's ultimately you and you get to decide. You didn't get the choice to start, did you even know when to begin? But now you have to fight, fight for what you believe in, fight for what you want. Are you in?

People. I care so much about people. I want to help them even though I drive myself crazy trying to do it. It's a true honor to have people come to you for help.

Strength. I have overcome so many obstacles to get to where I am today. We underestimate ourselves, but that's because we don't give ourselves enough credit.

God. I am a Christian and I screw up all the time. It's my religion though that keeps me going and I love worshiping our God. He is beyond words. He is truly the one and only.

Arts. Music and art combined. My harp has been through so many ups and downs, I can't even describe them all. Then art just lets me forget the world and allows me to create anything.

Poetry. When I don't know what to say, poetry is the way to go. It's like another language that doesn't even make sense to the one who wrote it. As you analyze, you figure it out.

Psychology. I love how the mind works and medications and therapies and just anything psychology. I love knowing why we think what we think and how we came to that answer.

Swinging. I can lose myself swinging in just a few minutes. It relaxes and calms me down. It's amazing. You're outside and your surroundings are just beautiful and you're a child once again.

Running. Not going to lie, this can be a pain. But runner's high is amazing and so great. Not only are you getting exercise, but you are making your body and mind so incredibly happy.

Life. It's not worth living sometimes and it's hard. Life challenges you and builds you up and knocks you down. I've struggled with living and not living and I still do, but life is something.

I crack my knuckles.

I bite my nails.

I stare into space.

I get headaches.

I throw up.

I black out.

I can't think straight.

I have racing thoughts.

I stutter.

I flinch.

I don't remember a thing.

I act quiet.

I try to disappear.

I wish I was someone else.

I pull at my hair.

I use muscle memory.

I tense up.

I can barely breathe.

I am not me.

I had a life long dream

That never came true.

I started to give up on life

And wished for it too.

Nothing ever happened

But I knew I had the control.

So I started making a plan

A plan that would hold.

So tonight will be the night

'Cause I don't want tomorrow.

I lived through it all

There's no need for this sorrow.

I said goodbye to all my friends

Even wrote letters to them.

Gave away all my possessions

Hoping this will be the end.

My heart is cut my deeper

Much deeper than my wrists.

There is no way it could get better

Get better than a tactic like this.

So now I must sleep

And rest in peace.

Goodnight to you

You'll miss me the least.