Regret, Remorse, Revenge.

Days, Weeks, Months.

Years to Forgive,

To Forget.

All I can think about is...

Getting even.

Even with you,

My Friend,

Saying sorry,

Isn't enough.

I just want to be even,

With you.

I picture you,

Realising your mistake,

Regret, Maybe even Remorse.

For my perfect revenge.

In the darkness of corners,

I see your face.

I will show you regret.

Because, even with you,

My Love,

I need to be even with you.

It is a truth universally acknowledged,

That a single man in possession of a good fortune,

Must be in want of a wife.

But,

Alas,

However,

That is wrong.

A man desires one thing.

He strives for power.

Whether through peace,

Or pain,

Power.

His Pride,

Is what drives him,

His Pride,

Is what holds him back.

It is a truth universally acknowledged,

That a single man in possession of a good fortune,

Must be in want of...

More.

Enough is never Enough.

Men,

A man.

Women,

A woman.

Pride is Power.

But Power is learning to live.

Outside, facing forward,

Eyes glazed yet looking onward.

Hands move constantly,

We’ve lost ourselves emotionally.

Look onwards to a bar,

Lost myself in the backseat of a stranger’s car.

This height I reached through substances,

I was told to avoid.

Yet using them to comfort me,

To fill the empty void.

On the phone seeking empathy for strangers,

Yet finding instead a treasure trove of dangers.

Depression isn’t skin deep,

We are all waiting for something more.

More than the shadow that looms overheard,

More than this feeling that ties us to our bed.

More than snapchats,

The mess in our flat.

More than feeling hopeless,

Thinking maybe we should hope less.

People tell me that I’m fine,

It’s all in my head.

Yet sooner or later they will see,

The happy me is dead.

People tell me that you’re fine,

Yet inside you are dying,

Of an illness they refuse to see,

All because of what is said,

About seeing to believe.

A chemical imbalance has somehow unbalanced my feelings towards art,

This meadow of colour,

Was a thing to be admired,

But now a dying flower represents my heart.

A small mistake I used to see as a trip, a mistake, a fall.

Yet now a mistake make makes me question,

Am I good at anything at all?

Because Depression isn’t skin deep,

Our hearts are on the floor.

Before we face our final sleep,

We must find something more.

Depression isn’t skin deep,

Something we can ignore.

We’re chasing happiness,

Like lost sheep.

No this depression goes right to the core

ears.

Do you cry when you aren't desperate?

Fear.

Do you fear unless innocent?

Love.

Could you love and yet hurt them?

Lies.

Don't you see the truth in their eyes?

This truth,

Their truth.

What about our truth?

I see the tears, the fear, the love, the lies.

And I myself fear.

Fear.

For them, for their destiny

Tears.

I cry because you can't see.

Love.

My heart is full of forgiveness, or understanding

Lies.

I won't lie.

I believe in them.

Follow a path of darkness,

Take a step towards the end,

Shadows play in the wilderness,

Searching for a friend.

A decrepit swing sways back and forth,

Like a boat on rocky seas,

A breeze is heading for the north,

It’s path bringing leaves.

Across the path lays a gesture,

A sort of desperate plead,

Three children lay together,

A broken family.

The moonlight is their guidance,

The forest is their home,

No longer feeling frightened,

No longer feeling alone.

They chase their own shadows,

Back and forth through the leaves,

Their secrets make the wind blow,

And ensure they never leave.

Whilst daylight falls upon us,

Warming our bare skin,

The breeze settles into dust,

Our fear fades within.

Flowers grow in meadows,

Whilst trees grow new leaves,

But their secrets make the wind blow,

And ensure they never leave.

We hear about their loneliness,

We cry for their pain,

But we are the loneliest,

In a photo without a face.

Why are you trying to save me?

Don’t you know that a caged bird will never feel free?

The darkness is my brother,

The flame is my friend.

I’m ready to run into the flames,

Let my flesh feed them, help them to spread.

The smoke has filled my lungs,

I can’t even breathe.

Why should I fight the battle to keep breathing,

When I could let with the darkness embrace me?

Let it hold me,

Protect my eyes from the sun,

Stop my ears bleeding from your insults and taunts.

Swallow my words of spite and self-pity,

Let it take away my suffering.

May I find peace,

Away from the pain of breathing,

The burden of my smile.

Sat in a crowd pretending to be happy.

I can't keep pretending,

Acting as though it doesn't hurt.

Depressions more than just a bad day,

I can't change the years of neglect, pain and suffering.

I can’t change… and I don't want to.

I want to be the girl everybody was fond of,

But they never really knew.

If they knew they would have helped her,

Or so they would like to think.

You can't help me,

I don't want you to even try.

Just carry on ignoring me,

Pretending that I don't even exist.

And I will just sit amongst you,

Pretending everything is just swell.

Until it's too late.