We used to hold signs at football games

And wander the bleachers unnoticed.

We walked by each other

in between classes

and giggled as we passed

Because I'll see you soon.

We hugged like real friends do

The forever kind of grasp.

We used to sneak out of your window

And stare at the moon.

We'd count the stars and dance in the rain

With drenched hoodies and pajama pants.

Nothing quite compared

to the moments you spent building me up.

Especially, when I didn't realize

my worth.

It's true I'd give so much to see you again

But I know you wouldn't let me.

Something green or something red

Glance below for something new

The prickles wart off the impatient

Hands slip under to find

Looking for a new

There's nothing I can't find under there

Nothing is revealed too soon

I imagine it's the only thing

The only something left to look forward to

When I see it I am more let down

Than anyone ever before.

Stopping

Stretching to stay

With time nestled in here

Watching age take its lonely soldiers

Onto the brazen stage of those erased

comrades passing by each other

creating drifts and blurs

young onlookers

wave anxiously

When you leave, I stay

maybe you'll return.

Then I leave for you to stay

but you are stubborn and stern.

I can not surprise you

you've charted all my moves.

In the crevice where you dwell

inside me--sinks, It grows for you.

Still I remain, I resist anymore change

I think I can mold this for us.

I'll try to make you, to take you

To turn this into more.

Though moments are meaningless

And efforts outweigh outcomes,

Outside we calm, inside we spin

To make me, you take me.

From you, no.

Make, create, renew myself.

The largest me I could ever be,

Is simply to be.

I am positive now

Because I was so negative then

I am happy now

Because I was so unhappy then

I am wiser now

Because I was so unwise then

I am growing now

Because I was so immature then

I am learning now

Because I was so rebellious then

I am me now

Because I was her then

The framing of your fingers

Encasing my body in pieces

Glow white and pearly

Ever enhanced impressions

Growing, increasing, quick

Within my legs, thighs, and inward

The breath under your lips

Brings me closer to you, wait

Lust and lies?

No, your light brings me further

Until a loud sigh escapes

My, oh my

That love of yours

Brings me closer

Running late--lackadaisical 

hair a disastrous mess 

smeared reckless makeup

trying to rub it off,

fingers aren't good enough.

Oh well

I don't give a--

On the way to work 

a night of drinking ran its course?

feeling like--gross 

With less care than a horse running free

Emotion like the reflection of rolling eyes

oh well--don't give a fuck

Sides slide by like wind shield wipers

Within a closed machine 

Nothing gets in or out 

But my own sounds,

I grunt and shift searching for my space

This passing time seems to speed 

Glances enter from the unwanted

The wanted don't notice. 

I'm not empty but my seat is

I could feel this forever

Falling and rising all together

I don't want to feel this 

It's just too much. Move on.