I hurt you but I think I had to

you don’t deserve to be hurt

you've already felt so much pain

you

you

you...

I miss you beyond belief

and it hurts even though I had to do it

I'm sorry for ever leaving

but I couldn’t stay

I remember hating to leave

I did then and still do now

I told you I never have been perfect

maybe now you can see its you I don’t deserve

you deserve better, and will find better

live better

love better

I'm sorry I couldn’t love you

I’m sorry it can’t be me

please forgive me

please

please please

it hurts me too,

probably not as bad

I keep crying going back to you

perfect you

the you I somehow couldnt love

you who deserved everything I had to give

you

I’m still crying, as I write

because I know how it hurts

but not as much as you

you are hurting

and I cannot forgive myself for that

my prayers were answered but I didn’t want to listen to them

I knew what it would mean for you and me

it’s killing me

and I know it’s killing you too

I'm sorry

that I

hurt

you

Do I seem different?

I've dreamt, that's why

Of a strong force 

But a gentle one too

Of an unstoppable smile

A jolting laugh

A light in the dark 

A whole new gravity 

I am unseen, but I always look

Maybe someday 

I'll have that light 

The giddy walker

The changing eyes 

A softness in strength

A rock in the ocean 

I can have this dream 

If I leap to the cloud

But I'm afraid 

Of falling too hard

And never having the courage 

To say to him 

Hello

Misunderstood is what you are

Though you have taken many

Many are set free by taking your hand

As one is wrapped in your darkness 

Only then are they shown the light

I see you now

Not in your frissonic form 

But in your steady hand 

As I jump into the void