sweet, drunk

processed & handcrafted

morning addiction

to your bitter words

& hint of hazelnut pillow talks

stolen nectar

handpicked petals 

decorating a table you’d never use

coffee flowers are for adults aren’t they

-

I think I finally understood or even felt what it meant to let go of your loved one in the moment of their passing. Everything is still. Numb. I caught of glimpse of what the heart and mind could look like the moment after. They are candles burning bright and slowly as dawn arrives. They are the snow melting and the earth welcoming him back home. They are a bouquet of hand picked flowers from your closest of friends…hands covered in blood and tears

–

It hurts. It just really hurts to see two people you love in pain. To see one alive and the other dead. How she screams holding his still & peaceful body, but you must tell her to let him go. To go to his God even though you believe in something entirely different. You must tell her the truth; that he loved her more than anything, that loving her made him better, & how it made all the difference in the world.

—

And the world will go on. And change. And in his loving memory you will continue to live; through the painful & loving moments. You will live and be okay.

We were flying,

riding on a high,

an ecstasy that had us soaring through the sky,

faster than anything,

but the only thing that can stop you,

that can freeze that moment

is the death of a friend.

And I think it’s that fall from all the way up there that hurts.

But it hurt the most in the moments we were falling.

Just in between living with those tears and heartaches

Laugh

and cry

you once said

to just breathe deep

to let it all out

that it'll be okay

that you adored me so much 

and how much stronger I was now.

To this day your love has shaped my world 

and one day i'll learn how to love like you.

Like the storm within your soul stopping and clearing?

Like there's nothing tearing you apart from the inside anymore?

Like your mind is clear and there's no more pain?

Like you can finally breath?

Like your heart can beat at peace once again? 

Just breathe, please

Through the dark skies

Pouring rain

All the pain you have.

It'll be a long journey 

Through the vortex of emotions you have 

Locked away in your heart,

But take a moment

Breathe through it all

And one day you'll find yourself on the other side of the field

Looking up at a clear blue sky

And hopefully you'll realize that you made it

You're okay. You're here.