if only.

As long as I live, I will have that connection to you.  I remember the moment.  I relive the aftermath still.  Once, it permeated.  You hijacking my consciousness, my existence.  You are kinder now, waking me only every so often in the darkness.  Surrounded by quiet sleep, I am alone with you.  Over and over I play it out.  Just us, together, young.  Without fail, our train wrecks, and I yearn to relive that point in time with wisdom. But time and wisdom rarely coincide, and I cannot beg forgiveness there.  With an exhausted sleep or sunrise coffee, I will pack us away.  Each day I know our lives move forward in parallel, until you steal away to remind me when it was.