january 2013

my entire self was made of

church pews and

children’s choirs and

teary prayers and

priesthood blessings and

without all that cloying weight

crushing down on my tired body

i was

too afraid to sigh

for fear that i

would breathe in the devil

but with my first

church-free

baptism-free

handsy-sweet-bishop-

free breath

i felt lucifer in me and he

was the silent cave in my gut

that dripped and echoed

the splintered phrase

“what are you made of now?”