Anxiety, even in the guest bedroom

Like underwater screaming 

you break the static barrier buzzing and swarming my head.

I feel the viper wrapped around my heart constrict and tighten 

as your random existing and vanishing

existing and vanishing only irritates him further. 

I see for a moment a disdain for you

wanting to be very alone and yet

I want to be held tighter than ever before in my life. 

More coddled than a bawling child. 

More tender than for the new born flesh. 

But I push the sudden and vivacious senses of life away 

and I sink down in to the deep

dark waters

drifting as my ears fill with the pounding of my heart 

and I loose myself to this weight, this suffocation.