Sleep My Third

I sleep a third of the time.

I'm tired half the time.

Somehow,

I am supposed to live in these fractions.

Somehow,

I'm supposed to dine 

with my self-esteem.

Until it smiles at me

tells me that it will never leave.

Somehow,

I am supposed to create 

subject matter;  but

what if the subject doesn't

matter?

Somehow,

I am supposed understand you

enough to love you

when I don't understand

the reason it's come down 

to you.

Somehow,

I am just supposed to forget

that I have lived 40 years

searching, hoping, praying

without real regard 

for the time lost in doing so.

Somehow,

I want to go on.

Ultimately, 

this is how I sleep my third.

This is how battle through the half.